Wednesday, April 01, 2009

Get Us Some O' That Reee - Form! 'N Moral Rectitude!

Pop-eyed and Passive Aggressively Grinning Carol Marin squirts out another dictum to everyone!

"Let's not let lawmakers leave Springfield in May without casting their votes for real, holistic reform."

Holistic - as coined by Apartheid Daddy Jan Smuts -"The tendency in nature to form wholes that are greater than the sum of the parts through creative evolution."

You know 'thinking outside the Box!' Like going to a doctor when you have a boil on your arm and he attaches a power hose to your rectum! 'This may cause some discomfort but it is holistic! you know -ayurveda, chiropractic, homeopathy, traditional Chinese medicine, naturopathy, Unani and reflexology therapies!'

Well Carol is worried about that there REEform for our State and Local GUV- Mints.

Governor Pat 'Lawnmower' Quinn* an Old Timey REE-former is on it!

Quinn's Staff: The reason he's pullin' our pants down.
Quinn's Staff: Gonna paddle a little behind.
Quinn's Staff: Ain't gonna paddle it - gonna kick it, real hard.
Quinn's Staff: No, I believe he's gonna paddle it.
Quinn's Staff: I don't believe that's a proper characterization.
Quinn's Staff: Well, that's how I'd characterize it.
Quinn's Staff: I believe it's more of a kickin' sitcheyation.

Gov. Pat Quinn: I'll press your flesh, you dimwitted sumbitch! You don't tell your pappy how to court the electorate. We ain't one-at-a-timin' here. We're MASS communicating!

Sara Feigenholz: We could hire our own midget, even shorter than his. Mike Quigley!
Quinn: Wouldn't we look like a bunch of Johnny-come-latelies, bragging on our own midget, doesn't matter how stumpy. He's Goin' to D.C. Anyhoo!

Pat Quinn: Moral fibre? I invented moral fibre! Patrick Tiberius 'Lawnmower' Quinn was displaying rectitude and high-mindedness when that egghead you work for was still messing his drawers!

Moral Fibre N' Moral Rectitude On Demand! Demand Some of Whole Heeping Helpin' Full Today! Tell Carol Sent You! Don't Wait For Change!


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