Objectify Chicks? No Way, Hombres; I'm Here to Praise Camille Paglia

“Every year, feminists provide more and more evidence for the old charge that women can neither think nor write.”  Camille Paglia in Art, and American Culture: Essays (New York: Vintage, 1992)

"On Tuesday, 18 October 2016, pop star Madonna raised some eyebrows by offering to perform oral sex on voters who cast their ballots for Hillary Clinton." Snopes


Camille Paglia is one of the finest minds in America.  She is without peer as a literary critic and scholar, an honest and clear voice for women, among a screaming murder of feminist crows and a good hearted person.

I read with interest her recent riposte to Madonna's post-Trump election whine that 'no women helped her.'  You see, Madonna beefed recently, again, to the gang at Billboard's Women in Music event:

Madonna made waves at the Billboard Women in Music event with her powerful speech about sexism, ageism, and misogyny, but feminist Camille Paglia is hitting back at the iconic singer for her claims that she was rebuffed when looking for female support at the start of her career.
During her speech on Friday, the 58-year-old recalled wishing for a female peer at the start of career and specifically called out Camille, claiming that the famous writer said she 'set women back' by objectifying herself sexually

I know of Madonna, but I do not know jack about Madonna.  To me she was one of the babes tapped by misogynists to play baseball during WWII, when all the guys went to war in that Tom Hanks movie, that my daughters played over and over and over.

She the gaped toothed blond.

Musically, I am told she is a genius.  Could be, but I am more of an Ella Fitzgerald, Keeley Smith, Lani Hall, Sarah Vaughan and Linda Ronstadt guy,  with a nod to the Babe from the Pretenders - Chrissy Hinds, now and then.  Madonna and most her acolytes are either background noise, or irritants.

Now, to the issue.  Camille Paglia went to bat for Madonna as far back as 1990 and called her a 'true feminist.'  What the hell that means, I am at a loss.  It seems that Madonna is a true feminist in her whining.

The problem stems from objectifying women, I guess.  I do that all time, " Hey, she's pretty!  Lovely Legs!  Gorgeous woman!" and by holding chairs, doors, burdens and regard for the carbon footprints that are in no way, shape, or manner anything like me, my Dad, my son, my uncles, cousins, pals and purchasers of boxers everywhere - owners of Adams Apples Universal.

I dig chicks.

I really dig smart chicks; especially ones with legs up H'yar and capable of tossing a glance that could cut a steel beam in half.

Camille Paglia is my kind of a woman in everything, but the fact she would be about as romantically interested in me, as I would be with Mike Barnicle. Camille, alas, is a daughter of Sappho.  That's cool.

Madonna does not do much for me.  I'd hold the door for her, however.

Oh, yeah!   Louis Prima was married to Keeley Smith.  Lucky guy!

How Good Is Snow-Blower Repair Man Mike Greene? My 1994 MTD runs like 2016 BMW

I love the south side culture of " I got a guy."

Needs are fulfilled by word of mouth and respect for the word from a neighbor.

If I were asked by you about stopping seepage in the basement, I bring into my man cave and thrust my finger to east wall and "Behold! Water from the Rock!"  Hell, I am not handy.

Ask me about literature, jazz, history, great places to eat, methods of shirking households obligations ( no problem so big, that I can not run away and hide from it), or treating ladies with fair deference in all matters, I'm your guy.

• Want your furnace looked at?  Call Karen A Mcquillan, (708) 422-0090 and she'll get her old man, Jim, on it Air-Check Heating & Colling.

• Auto Problems? - Go to Kevin Moriarty at Meineke on Western

• Plumbing?  The Kennedy Brothers knock it out of the Park.

• Gutters and Chimneys glutted?  Call Sean Keane at Keane Sweep
• Taxes?  See Pat Biggane

Now, as to leaking basements, I have had my basement sealed three times inside and out. The CSX line runs twenty feet from my front window and the crib shakes like Oprah on a waterbed.  Can't help you. Nothing worked, but the shop vac and Fabrese.

How -some-ever, friends and neighbors, if your snowblower is on the fritz, needs a tune-up or repair, GO AND Call Mike Greene immediately if not sooner.  I called Mike in September and Mike and his daughter picked up my giant sized MTD 1994 purchase, which had beaten back lake effect snow in Griffith Indiana and cleared sidewalks, alleys and driveways here in Morgan Park since 1999.  

I serviced the machine.  Changed oil, repaired the auger and the drive-lines, drained the gas and managed the wheels, but I had not had the whole machine serviced since 1997.

Mike Greene returned (delivered) the snowblower three days later with a modest charge that included straightening the blades, replacement of drive lines, tightening the auger, complete tune up and oil and sparks.  Modest charge.  I keep it on my icebox and look at it when I'm blue.

I just got back from Mass at Sacred Heart and fired up the MTD for the first time. Last week, it was too wet to plow.

The MTD fired up and purred like a kitten (which I also need to replace since Sophie shed her mortal husk).   The plowing was exquisite and I hated to put the thing to rest.

I know that I will have plenty more opportunities today to get behind the plow, but for now,  a huge thank you to Mike Greene, a Proud Member of Operating Engineers Local 150 and a great neighbor.

      

I Promise! I will Never Bully My Robot Car! Pinky Swears undt Das Beste Oder Nichts

Dummes Auto Roboter! Peotone Beiträge 35 MPH und Manteno Beiträge 45 MPH, Gott Dame Route 50 und Hillbilly Polizei: (Stupid car robot! Peotone posts 35 MPH and Manteno posts 45 MPH, God dame route 50 and hillbilly police)

Throughout the 1930s, Mercedes-Benz produced the 770 model, a car that was popular during Germany's Nazi period. Adolf Hitler was known to have driven these cars during his time in power, with bulletproof windshields.[5] Most of the surviving models have been sold at auctions to private buyers. One of them is currently on display at the War Museum in Ottawa, Ontario. The pontiff's Popemobile has often been sourced from Mercedes-Benz.[6] In 1944, 46,000 forced laborers were used in Daimler-Benz's factories to bolster Nazi war efforts.

UIC students are shutting it down 'old school,' Chicago Tribune is out of space for any future Trump Dumping ( no room; filled up), people are hurting.

 Some experts suggest that spanking "A White Guy' could help, couldn't hurt. Experts know what's best . . .sorry that was a cruel microaggression.  I know the election hurts . . .goofs.

Maybe, just maybe, I am an insensitive guy. Oh, hell no! I voted for Jimmy Carter!  Bill Clinton,Al Gore and Richie Daley!  I'm sensitive.

That very thought hurts my feelings.  I need a safe space.  A nice ride in my 2008 Chevy Malibu might perk me up!  It is that old devil weltanschauung , that old black zeitgeist, or Willie Geist gnawing at my innards, or is it that cooing voice over the car radio from WBEZ National Public Radio and BBC World News telling me that Mercedes-Benz is worried that carbon footprints will bully robot cars. Again, human being are the problem:

Some people are afraid of robots taking over. Exler is worried that humans will “bully” driverless cars.
Human drivers already speed, drive erratically and cut in line.  Driverless cars will be programmed to be polite and follow the law.
When someone tries to cut in line at a traffic merge, humans won’t let them in. But a driverless car will be programmed to stop when it sees an obstruction — like a line cutter. “They’ll look for the autonomous car and that’s where they’ll cut in,” he said.
Theoretically, robot cars could be programmed to be more aggressive, but he doubts regulators would allow that to happen.
Still, Mercedes-Benz is moving full speed ahead on semi-autonomous and driverless cars. The company was worried that its customers, who tend to love driving nice cars, would resist.(Emphasis my own)

Imagine, if Chicago Gang funerals all travelled at the posted speed, stayed in proper lanes and avoided firehouse exits.  What a world! Spanking a white guy might help.

Robot cars have nothing to fear from me.  I drive at the posted speeds and maintain lane laws - I am afraid that a robot car would bully me. " Move it, Methuselah! Out my Way! Step on it, or I will cap yo ass! Lookee here, I don't want to see no tail lights in front of Me !  This is a Benz, G! The Best or Nothing!' 

Please pull over and let me out.  I am spanked.

My Safe Space, Detoxing Masculinity and Now I am Afraid of Spiders and Lady Bugs

Fellow men, our self-perceived and peer-enforced inability to personally access and publicly express our full humanity is destroying us. And it’s damaging our loved ones and the world we all inhabit.

None of the men reading this likely see ourselves as anything like a Trump, or a Trump supporter. I know I don’t. But I also know that I have hurt women around me through the kind of masculine (and in my case, white masculine) entitlement that causes people to react to their struggles by identifying with his messages of fear, control and dominance. I have experienced the entitlement to dominate physical and emotional spaces over women. To gaze upon and touch women without their permission. Things I’m not proud of, that I can’t believe I thought were acceptable at the time, for which I have apologized, and from which I’ve learned. At the core of it has been a stunted faculty with emotional processing, where somehow along the way I internalized the idea that the objectification and sexual attainment of women would fill emotional voids for me.

What the dominant culture of toxic masculinity has done to us is unhealthy and unacceptable. I want to heal my toxic masculine coding and build the emotional, analytical and reflective tools to become a better friend, son, partner, neighbor, someday a father, and more. Collectiveaction





My home on Rockwell Street in Morgan
Park of Chicago  was intended to be a safe-space for me, once the kids moved out.  There I could freely explore my place in patriarchy and role in perpetuating the date-rape culture, gun-violence and the objectifying of women, as well as the thousands of  micro-aggressions I crank out by the minute.

 I thought of going to Duke University and signing up for the Man's Project "which sees a cohort of students get together each week to discuss men’s experiences with various elements and intersections of masculinity. In these sessions, they seek to create a male space with conversations focused on inclusion rather than exclusion; to bypass the turning of the shoulder that often happens when men think it’s better to suffer alone in strength than talk in vulnerability, to challenge the way we have traditionally thought of manhood in order to raise the standard of good men in tackling sexism and gender violence."

Instead, I decided to stay in my own safe space . . .with Alan Ford.



I thought about all of  the times that I wished date-rape had happened to me - never did - and I felt bad about it.  It would have been nice, if an exotic Eurasian Babe with legs up to H'yar had knocked me off my stumpy legs, grabbed me by my close-cropped hair with a grip that Janet Guthrie would have been proud of and smooched the hell out of me and then went after my old gigglestick with a gusto!

I've felt worse.

No getting around it.  I am one toxic male. Perhaps, I thought, I am not being vulnerable. Vulnerable is new Invincible!

I love puppies and kittens; rodents, not so much.

I love women's nylons, garters, silkens and satins and fancy things - on them. . . .for a while.

I love Fabric Softener and Wagon Train re-runs.

I love the Wizard of Oz - the flying monkeys and the Cossack guards.

I love Russ Meyer movies, but not Faster Pussycat, Kill, Kill Kill - creeps me out.

Both Sides Now, by Judy Collins makes me feel the need to shower.!!

I wish I could still light tire fires under abandoned Viaduct at 75th Place and Wood Street and then look at Jugs and Ammo with Larry Fischeli and Al McFarland.

There I have de-toxed!  Now, to sheet rock the basement, eat a few Slim Jims and watch Roller Derby!

Ahhhhhhhhhhhh!  A Bug!  A Lady Bug!  Hate them.

Safe Space!

Hackers Reveal Hickey as a Madison Client

 Computer hackers gained access to the entire database of Ashley Madison, a dating website for people who want to have affairs, and posted the names of all 37 million users on the internet. Around 115,000 are reported to be Irish. Irish Examiner

Yes, I have cheated, treated myself in the doing with fine Dolly Madison Products.!  Here's my Peeps!

The Goldsteining of Pastor Corey Brooks by Action Now and Illinois Democrats and Media

So, I'm standing in the open entrance to New Beginning Church and a couple of Blue T-Shirt Bedecked-out Volunteers ask me, " You Corey Brooks?"  Now, that was Spontaneous! I love spontaneity!  Baby's laughter.  A Great Smooch! Keeley Smith on WDCB!

Unamazzed though bemused, having listened to the Action Now "Volunteers" being warmed up for five minutes east of Martin Luther King Drive on 65th Place with chants themed to say that Pastor Corey Brooks betrayed Jesus, I replied, " No ladies, I am an aging white man. Corey Brools is a big, burly and handsome young Black man"

They smiled and moved back in line; herded by two young white people: a  guy in a pink Cape Cod cap and a chain-smoking young woman with a clipboard.  I have been off my Marlboro Reds for a couple of weeks and fought the temptation to bum a smoke from the young lady.

You see, I was at one of those community activist well-orchestrated SPONTANEOUS protests of some outrage.

The outrage du jour is Pastor Corey Brooks.  Got that?

Pastor Brooks was on his way back from the hospital, where he had accompanied members of the family of a parishioner stricken with a heart attack and picking up tubs of iced down bottled water for the two dozen chanting volunteers following Action Now cheerleader with the bullhorn and herded by Comrade Cape Cod and Virginia Slim.

Comrade Cape Cod

Virginia Slim

Popeye's Pappy

There was also an aging activist citizen journalist who looked like Popeye's Pappy,  White Progressive Privilege. Love it.  These three white folks acted like border collies for the two dozen "Volunteers."

I have the feeling that a community pantry, or shelter was the place to find activists.  One lady in blue Action Now T-Shirt agreed with me.

You see, Corey Brooks is not liked by the artificial turfed Grassroots activists allied with National, State, County and City Democrats.  He supported Bruce Rauner for Governor over Pat "JRW!!!!" Quinn. Shortly after Pastor Brooks endorsed Rauner, his church was violated. Talk about action now! Now, Action Now demands that Pastor Brooks STEP DOWN! Or, so the chanters chanted. man, you'd think Pastor Brooks asked to defund Planned Parenthood, or shot Cecil the Lion. Brooks hate abortion, like a man; howver I do not believe that he had taken up Big Game hunting.  No, he has committed thought crime.

It was this public endorsement of Rauner that caused the Goldsteining of Pastor Brooks yesterday and I first caught the mighty wind of Action Now's protest on Beachwood Reporter.  I like Pastor Brooks and called to give his church members a heads-up and stand in solidarity, as the slogan goes, with a neighbor.  I park at New Beginnings Church every morning of the school year, when I pick up Leo Students from Grand Crossing and have come to know Pastor Brooks.

Pastor Brooks, unlike too many priests, preachers and prophets in Englewood, Gresham, Grand Crossing and other desperate and blood soaked neighborhoods, is no race hustler, or grifter.  He questions support of Democrats who like to play the role of plantation boss.  He even endorsed a  Republican and Rauner, like all politicians rewarded a solid with a solid. Pastor Brooks was appointed to the Illinois Tollway Commission, which is open to African Americans as well as DuPage County Dowagers.  I believe the litmus test for such an honorific appointment is spelling Tollway. Nah, it's probably a little tougher.

Quite seriously, Action Now would demand that the African American Community deserves NO representation, because Rauner plans to destroy the African American Community. Thus the Goldsteining of Corey Brooks.

It takes mob Action Now to properly Goldstein a citizen.  Slogans, chants and T-shirts targeting the target for the day is how so-called "Grassroots" Activists assassinate a person's character. Located at 820 West Jackson in the heart of Chicago's . . .Greektown.  Two dozen activist volunteers made their way from Chicago's massive south side ( The Lake to Pulaski) Black communities, at their own expense, to board  bus to bring them to a Church in the heart of the community they just spent precious Ventra Credits to get to the bus in Greektown. Or so Virginia Slim explained, they are all volunteers and came on their own.

But arrived on a bus? Together with Action Now Alinsky Border Collies, Comrade Cape Cod, Virginia Slim and Popeye's Dad?  "One never knows, do one?" to quote Fats Waller.

I guess my tone betrays my sentiments.  Pastor Corey Brooks was targeted by some Democrat, or a rival activist priest, pastor or prophet, or maybe he is all three rolled  in one.  Corey Brooks was targeted for political punishment.

Pastor Corey Brooks handed out water and Dunkin Donuts and Comrade Cape Cod and Virginia Slim immediately ginned up the hate.

Pastor Brooks smiled and forgave. They know not what they do.

Comrade Cape Cod, Virginia Slim and Popeye's Dad do.

My M(etamorphosis) Squad Morning

I woke up a different man.  I'm Frank Ballinger - M Squad.  M stands for Metamorphosis.  This is Chicago -my kind of town.

I went to bed Pat Hickey and woke up Frank Ballinger. Yeah, I woke him up.  He was staying with me.  That's how come I woke up a different man. See?

You don't.

Maybe it was being in the Flatiron District, - Bucktown, of Chicago - you know the concrete streets packed with guys wearing sandals, cotton strides, goatees and straw fedoras, all looking for that next kick whether to themselves or the old guy in chinos, Thomm McCann's and really bad mood.  All the female talent he pipes on cool April sidewalks and cooing from the open-air gin mills on Milwaukee Ave. are tattooed and pieced and maybe that sets his V-8 in neutral and over-works the radiator. . .I don't know. Maybe, it was the fact that he had to wait for the lady with the baby smooth skin and that frame that could lure Thomas Merton out of monk convention in Tibet. Maybe.

Yeah, that might have it.

No, the fact is that he knew he'd been made an A Number One chump not eight hours ago.

Yeah, me.  Patrick Francis Thomas Aquinas Hickey - Chump Gold Card Member.  That's who hit the sack last night anyway. He'd pieced together all the clues.  He'd been set up by "Drew." Yeah, me.  Mr. Street Wise - not the fine $2 paper sold by members of Chicago's Homeless Community, no not that Street Wise -got taken by a thirty something hipster and his late model black Chrysler SUV plate number Illinois R 64-3592.

I was parked in the 1800 block of West North Avenue - the pathway to hip and the playground to the cool.  My turf is square. This turf is triangular and a square within a triangle is trapped - like this:  That's me N and B is some other guy out of his element.  N is me on North Ave. between Honore and Walcott.

I'm parked, like I said, on North Ave . . .the 1800 block of West North Avenue . . .what am I boring you, Princess?  Yeah, I guess I am at that.

I had business with a lady on the south side of North and that's none of your business.  Business was good.  Me?  Not so much.

I'm parked like I said. When business is over I walk the chic chick to her car parked on Hermitage just north of North Avenue.  When business is over and I shed myself of the heart breaker and her pleas for me to stay just bit more, I hike it back to North Avenue where I'm parked and my ticket has time to spare on my dash board so I don't need to pay Mayor Coon Eyes any more of my earned loot.

I have less than a foot or so to back up, because a late model black Chrysler SUV has insinuated itself dangerously close to the bumper of my 2008 grey Malibu.  There's room to spare ahead of me and I have been know around the south side as ONE SWING MAN adept.  I eased back, nevertheless erring on the side of caution . . ., when shouts of " How does this????" interrupted by bangs on the passenger side of my blitz interrupts my maneuver.

" Hey, Man!  You hit my car!  Don't even think about leaving!"

Never crossed my mind. I slide out and assess.  There is damage to SUV, but nothing to show from the laws of physics on my coupe.

" We better exchange information," shouts the tall, handsome thirty-something who claims to have been on the sidewalk of 1800 W. North Ave. he had golden Lab in the back of the late model black Chrysler SUV plate number R 64-3594.

I gave the tall guy my license and insurance card. He I-phone snapped pictures of both and handed them back to me.  I asked for his information and he said, that his name was " Drew!"  He got in his SUV and drove off.

Yeah, that stuff dripping from my whiskers comes from chickens.  Some chump. " Wait," I shouted like the grammar school class twerp who has had his Harry Potter magician hat grabbed by the regular guys and thinks that " Give it Back!" will solve any unhappiness. Yeah.

Pat Hickey went to bed and woke up Frank Ballinger.  Frank Ballinger ain't happy.  Frank Ballinger will check in with CPD District 14 about the events on the 1800 block of west North Avenue at approximately 6:45 PM.  

I'm Sorry. I Can't Talk Right Now . . .

Look. . .just try and  understand . . . :
I'm having just a splitting Haddock. Yes, there are crepes as well. . .Jesus.




You think this stuff is easy?

I Have Absolutely Nothing to Add. . .To This.

The idiots of the Southern Law and Poverty Center ( one huge Hate Group in itself) are now targeting the Manosphere. BTW - ever a get a look at those mopes?

To the Right -SLPC President Richard Cohen

and always Left - his Wingman Mark Potok

The so-called “manosphere” is peopled with hundreds of websites, blogs and forums dedicated to savaging feminists in particular and women, very typically American women, in general. Although some of the sites make an attempt at civility and try to back their arguments with facts, they are almost all thick with misogynistic attacks that can be astounding for the guttural hatred they express. What follows are brief descriptions of a dozen of these sites. Another resource is the Man Boobz website (manboobz.com), a humorous pro-feminist blog (its tagline is “Misogyny: I Mock It”) that keeps a close eye on these and many other woman-hating sites.

Get a date losers.


Heavens! Now, to the heavenly.



well maybe I should add. . .We have Jan Schakowsky and Sheila Simon. What the Fluke?

Italian politician Nicole Minetti -Nicole Minetti (1986, Rimini) (26 years old) is a former showgirl and dental hygienist who became a politician under Berlusconi.

Minetti's mother is an English dance instructor and her father an Italian businessman. Minetti worked for a while as a dancer on Colorado Cafe, a comedy-variety show on television. She then went on to train as a dental hygeinist.

Me and the Kids Will Take the Illinois Gitmo Guests!

Bruce Dold and Tribune Editorial Board brought a manly tear to my eye when they chorused this morning's edition with 'Be Not Afraid!'

Thomson Correctional Facility can do so much for our State and Governor Quinn has called for all of us to do things The Illinois Way! I am moved and compelled!

I am willing to take the Gitmo Guests! Let's Fed Ex this Candle! Let's Move! Send them Gitmo Guests to Morgan Park. I'll see that the lads get to Mass at St. Cajetans, get three hots and cots, enjoy WOW Cable TV and PlayStation II. Share in the delights and hilarious misadventures of the Family Hickey and their Widow Man Pater Familias.

Have the 200 Million e-transferred to my Beverly Bank account and me and the kids will watch these guys. No reason to have the Illinois Department of corrections do without a swell facility to accommodate Illinois citizens who fallen afoul of the law.

I will take the 200 Million and upgrade my Morgan Park raised ranch ( let's see,the Thomson Shed costs about $175 Million and I can get off-duty Chicago Firemen from the neighborhood - yeah, $100 Million Tops!) accordingly and treat the lads to Governor Quinn's Illinois Way!

I'll half of what's left. Eric Holder will see that these guys are well taken care of and then set free. So half of 100 million comes to 50 Million and we can get snacks and TP and fresh duds and stuff at Costco or Wal-Mart ( can I say Wal-Mart?).

I'll make do - this is the Illinois Way!

"We're here today to let the people know we're not going to let the fearmongers carry the day," Quinn said. "We're going to do things right, the Illinois way."

That was former Illinois Governor Quinn, boys and girls!

The Illinois way! Is not Blago, Pat Quinn's Old Partner, facing more than a few semesters in the Hotel Serious, for conducting things in the Illinois Way?

No Fear Guv! Tell the Feds to Send the Dough!



http://hickeysite.blogspot.com/

Pat Hickey's Labor Confessio -Why I am Not in the Trades - It's Work!

Behold His Handiwork! Things Pat Hickey Fixed: He is no plumber, no engineer, no electrician, no mechanic and certainly no cosmetic surgeon!

Do click my post title for the link to the great caveat to Labor and Joel Kotkin's Politico piece. H/T - Max Weismann & There I Fixed It!

Newberry Library Book Fair - I am So there!

I am SO evolved and So There!

Saturday, July 25, 2009, from 10 am - 6 pm (Learn about the special festivities planned to celebrate the Newberry Book Fair 25th anniversary!)


I am brushing up my Eccos! This is no south side Pierogi Fest, or Irish beer swill with music. I will dress the part of the 56 year old progressive, hip and still got it baby - man about town! Well, some parts of town.

I want to give off the image that I'm a successful full fledged academic on holiday. Polo shirts with khaki pants won't do and everyone working the stands will be wearing the same thing that gives that Public Television WTTW Pledge Drive but Outdoors impression. Me Too.

First - a trip to John's on 111th to get a near-shave on the noggin - Ala Billy Ayers, Dick Simpson, Moby, Uncle Fester from Smashing Pumpkins and Gay activists. White guys should never shave their heads and Hipsters get close to that but not down to the bone. We middle aged south side close knit ethnic types still tend to the The Princeton or the Boy's Regular haircut. Also, no shave 'til Sunday Mass. You hasta give off the three day growth Old Guy Miami Vice Nubby Stubble Look - Like Billy Ayers and Pete and Peggy Seeger.

Second - Get a stud ear ring. Every fifty-something Hispter that's really with it has one. I might need take a handful of pain killers and couple of Olde English 40's to that. DoooooooooooDe!

Third - Cotton, Cotton Cotton! - Something loose and breezy maybe some sort of faux Tolstoy peasant shirt ( white) belted with a good quality knotted rope from Mount Greenwood True Value. Britches?????? Cargo shorts extra baggy and shin length, or patchwork blue jeans? Hmmmmm. Maybe a standard issue Che T or a Tie-Dyed

Fourth - Footwear - Birkenstocks or Eccos? Sandals or boaters? No socks. Stangkee Feet Caynt Be Beat!

Fifth - Deportment to match the schedule! Yes, yes . . . I have been North of Madison many times and the most important thing to wear is (I agree) a big smile! I'm the customer!!! So Sally and Seth, don't sit behind your table, Duckies, Get off your Lard and come over and be helpful, or I'll get all Catholic school on you! . Stand the whole time and have something to keep you looking busy. "See my smile? I can be passive aggressive too. Don't you think that you might want to have a better attitude and please dont smoke? Did you really wash your hands after handling that Nelson Algren hardcover and you're not going to eat that roasted corn? Is that organic corn? Where's the beer tent?"


Here's the schedule and my expected behavior.

Celebrate 25 years of inexpensive used books at the Newberry's annual Book Fair. We have a record number of books to sell this year! More than 110,000 donated books will be sorted into 70 categories for your browsing convenience. With many books priced under $2, it's easy to replenish your home library's holdings on subjects ranging from antiques to zoology.
Admission is free.

Happy shopping!

Parking: The Newberry Library does not have a visitor parking lot. Limited metered parking is available on area streets. Daytime and evening parking restrictions do apply, so be sure to read the posted signs carefully. Garage parking is also available in the neighborhood. No Hummers; No Buicks; No Lincolns; No Fords and No Chevies.

The following garages offer discounted parking to Newberry patrons ($7 for 0-8 hours; $9 for 8-10 hours). Remember to bring your parking ticket with you so it can be validated by the Newberry security guard. The Sheehan Family at 10857 will let you use their drive way but then you need to take Metra downtown and transfer to the CTA

100 West Chestnut Street (enter on Clark Street)
100 East Walton Street (valet service)

Festivities on Saturday, July 25

9 am – Complimentary yoga presented in Washington Square Park by lululemon athletica - Pass. Where's the beer ticket booth?

10 am – Book Fair opens
10:30 am – Complimentary kids’ yoga presented in Washington Square Park by Get Healthy Chicago
12 pm – Meet the Author: Alex Kotlowitz (book signing) Author of Never a City So Real a wonderful, short study of Chicago. I will leave him alone.

Bughouse Square Debates (1 pm to 4 pm)

1 pm – Rick Kogan Welcome! - " Hey, Kogan, You Bastard! It's Hickey!! Yeah, that's right! You were 'spozed to have me back on your show and talk about my novel! Yeah, I'm heckling! What's the matter? Not so tough when don't have Steve Bertrand to back you up! . . . Terry, in a minute, I . . . no I have not had enough beer. My Mom is in Orland; Okay? Kogan! I'm here allllll Daaaayyyy!!!!!!"

1:15 pm – Presentation of the Altgeld award to High School Teacher Barb Thill - Clap politely.
1:35 pm – Main debate (Abraham Lincoln vs. Stephen Douglas) "Go Douglas! Little Giant Rocks! No Lincoln; No War!"
2:15 pm – Memorial tributes to Studs Terkel, Leon Despres, Franklin Rosemont and Judith Krug - " Hey, . . . why you call the cops on me??????" A wide-eyed Terry Sullivan watches in disgust and mild disbelief. Ms. Sullivan calls Hickey's kids, " I am afriad your father is at Chicago Ave. Police Station. I will post bail, but I am going home. Please, have your Father call me . . . when Hell Freezes!"
2:30 pm – Soapbox Debates ( still in custody)
3:45 pm – Dil Pickle award presented ( still in custody)
6 pm – Book Fair closes for the day


9:45 P.M - Hickey gets released into the custody of his kids. The elegant,polite and beautiful Ms. Terry Sullivan awaits the forth coming apology "Oh, No" Phone call.

The 2009 Book Fair is generously supported by Whole Foods Market, Hallett Movers, and by our media partner, Flavorpill.

Many thanks to the following restaurants for donating lunches to our many wonderful Book Fair volunteers:

Bistro Zinc

Caffe Baci

D'Absolute Caterers

Edwardos

Fox and Obel Food Market

Goddess and Grocer

Go RomaJewell Events Catering

Occasions Chicago Catering

Tri-Star Catering

All kidding aside . . . I am so there! I love books and I love people who love books. I'm a lover.

Newberry Folks! I'll behave . . . Honor Bright!