The South Side St. Paddy Parade With No Parade but A Parade of Idiots!

With the cancelation of the south side Parade, young festive Bucktown/Wicker Park/Lincoln Square/Lincoln Park swells and maids by the bus load from Fern adorned saloons, will be seen going east and west on Western Ave. this Sunday.

It is always heart-warming when a bullet proof, fully Kreuzaned, soul patched young buck manages to slur out a demand for the non-existent south side taxi cab -"Ehh, OhFuggah. Wherez a Cabs at? Maaaan Do'od yoo Suck!" Followed by a sharp moistening of his chinos and an acrobatic weave backward, onto my lawn. Zzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzz.

While we regret the need to alter such a fine tradition, the Committee feels that suspending the South Side Irish Parade in its present form is the just and responsible thing to do.”

The decision has since created uproar on Facebook. Over 30 groups and events were created, some comprised of around 10,000 members. After numerous posts of pointing fingers and expressing grievances, the groups now talk about turning the weekend in Beverly into the world’s largest pub crawl. “I say everyone just shows up and has a good time,” said Anthony Palaggi on one of the group sites. “Viva la Resistance!” said Mike Benninghoff on another site.

Click my Post Title about the Facebook Parade of Drunks

Pat Hickey's "The Alderman" will "Represent" " The Situation" - Reality South Side Show - Insulting People and Making Money: It's All Good.

"We're looking for people who represent what a South Sider is," said Joan O'Connor, casting producer for O'Connor Casting Co*. No African Americans wanted! Thought I'd help there- Hope O'Connor Casting hears some feedback.

Cretins, Feebs and Dummies will line up for hours to "Represent the South Side" - Our Version of "Jersey Shore" Attitude.

Knowing that real south siders - devout, hard-working, painfully honest, fun, witty, generous and genuine people will not make the O'Connor Casting Call, I decided to represent.

Get a guy who looks like the gent above and call his abdomen - "The Alderman" Call his gut the Alderman - it's Old School for Beer Belly. Edgy.

The Devil's Dictionary

ALDERMAN
Alderman, (n.)
An ingenious criminal who covers his secret thieving with a pretence of open marauding.
English Slang Dictionary v1.2
alderman
a man's pot belly

This person's diet should be subsistance level ( of a Rugby Team) stuffings of Slim Jims, Whitey-One-Bites ( White Castles), Hot Dogs from Pops on Kedzie, Old Style Beer, Jagermeister Shooters, Flaming Hotz, and Waldo Cooney's Pizza Slices.

This person should sleep during most daylight waking hours and spend the balance of the day drinking draft 'Syles in Bust-out joints ending with BrewBakers Pub on Western Ave. at about 5A.M.

He should not be capable of generating, much less uttering, an original thought and merely sputter obsenities, racial epithets, phrases and verbals laced with apologies about his days of "Playing some Ball at ( fill in a Catholic High School) " crying about Anne Marie Balzakas who took him to Maria High School's prom and ran off into the tall weeds at Marquette Park when he got all smoochy and living in Mom's basement, since Dukes of Hazzard got cancelled.

The Media will love this edgy and "reality" based concept programing, so long as this presentation of a south siider is fulfilled. Any positive portrayal would be doomed. Can't have that.

The O'Connor Casting Company sound like real champs. Real Stock cuffers, or what's the word? It's hyphenated I believe.

*

CASTING REALITY TV SHOW: ARE YOU THE NEXT "JERSEY SHORE" TYPE OF REALITY STAR?
ARE YOU THE NEXT “Jersey Shore” TYPE OF REALITY STAR?
Do you live on Chicago’s Southside?

•Are you between the ages 19-27yrs? (Irish, Latino, Italian, Polish… open to all races and nationalities)
•Do you openly celebrate your true Southside self as a true Southsider?
•Are you the GUY or GIRL who is awesome in oh so many ways?
•Are you sexy, crazy, fun, outgoing, outrageous, love to make things exciting, always up for an adventure, and a HUGE SOX fan?
•If so, then we want you, your friends, your total awesomeness.
CONTACT US NOW!
If you or someone you know fits this description, please tell them or forward on to them.
HOW TO APPLY: Email Chicago@oconnorcasting.tv
INCLUDE:
Your FULL name, contact info (phone, address, etc).
Brief description of your awesomeness and why you would be a great Reality Star. And THREE RECENT pictures of yourself.
(In an emergency, contact 312-226-9112, but email is best.)

Audition Dates: Now thru the end of March (RESPOND – SOONER THE BETTER)
Audition Location: O’Connor Casting Company, 1017 W. Washington, Suite 2a, Chicago, IL 60607

"This Is PC! Get Me Re-Write . . .Stat! Immediately, if not Sooner!" The Fort Dearborn Salon

"It's not to say there wasn't a massacre, but we wanted to provide a vehicle for people to come together," The Fort Dearborn Massacre?

In the gentle words of the Apostles and His Ma upon Christ's Ascent into Heaven," Come Again????"

"It's not to say there wasn't a massacre, but we wanted to provide a vehicle for people to come together," said Tina Feldstein, president of Prairie District Neighborhood Alliance the ceremony's host.

Here's the story* - Potowatomi Indians ( Native Americans one and all) butchered the people hiding in Fort Dearborn, because they were paid by the British to do so during the War of 1812. Now, their descendants are scalping the invading white man whose hegemony is a Trail of Tears up at the big Casino near Milwaukee and more power to them! Chicago Tribune reporter Ron Grossman tells of another PC Idiot Iconoclastic Venture under the aegis the Park District to rename a stretch of street around 16th & Indiana with a park to hallow the ground of the Beach Party formerly known as the Fort Dearborn Massacre.

Ron Grossman reported with balance and professionalism. I would have gone all Pokagon on some of the mouthpieces involved -"ARE YOU OUT OF YOUR BILGE BESOTTED MIND? Here, hold still while I slap you. Stop wiggling, it will help you."

http://www.chicagotribune.com/news/local/chi-fort-dearborn-massacre-renamaug14,0,4033765.story

However, the revisionism and political oiliness is rooted in the well-worn Political Correctness that further makes idiots of our children and besmears the discipline of historical scholarship through dilettante Dollies and their appointed roles on societal committees - Ms. Feinstein.

Perhaps Chicagoans can expect a full transfer of truth:

Chicago Stockyards - Vegan Alternative Landscape

Chicago Fire - A Rainbow of Color and the Wind of Change

Chicago White Sox - Diversity Hose

Colombian Exposition - Imperial Racists Festival

St. Valentine's Day Massacre - Faith Neutral Retribution

Please, folks, when well-meaning morons want 'to bring people together' by destroying the historical record, give them a plateful of bubblegum cookies to keep them occupied.

*Fort Dearborn Massacre

In 1810, Captain Whistler was replaced at Fort Dearborn by Captain Nathan Heald, an experienced soldier, who also brought with him Lieutenant Linus T. Helm, another officer with experience on the frontier. Helm soon married the step-daughter of John Kinzie. In addition to she and Heald’s wife, there were other women now at the fort as well, all wives of the men stationed there. Within two years, there were 12 women and 20 children at Fort Dearborn.

The first threat came to the fort with the War of 1812, a conflict that aroused unrest with the local Indian tribes, namely the Potawatomi and the Wynadot. The effects of the war brought many of the Indian tribes into alliance with the British for they saw the Americans as invaders into their lands. After the British captured the American garrison at Mackinac, Fort Dearborn was in great danger. Orders came from General William Hull that Heald should abandon the fort and leave the contents to the local Indians.

Unfortunately, Heald delayed in carrying out the orders and soon, the American troops had nowhere to go. The unrest among the Indians brought a large contingent of them to the fort and they gathered in an almost siege-like state. The soldiers began to express concern over the growing numbers of Indians outside and Heald realized that he was going to have to bargain with them if the occupants of Fort Dearborn were going to safely reach Fort Wayne.

On August 12, Heald left the fort and held council with the Indians outside. By this time, it was estimated that 500 of them were encamped at the fort. Heald proposed to the chiefs that he would distribute the stores and ammunition in the fort to them in exchange for safe conduct to Fort Wayne. The chiefs quickly agreed and conditions were set to abandon the stockade.
Heald returned to the fort and here, was confronted by his officers. Alarmed, they questioned the wisdom of handing out guns and ammunition that could easily be turned against them. Heald reluctantly agreed with them and the extra weapons and ammunition were broken apart and dumped into an abandoned well. In addition, the stores of whiskey were dumped into the river. Needless to say, this was observed by the Indians outside and they too began making plans that differed from those agreed upon with Captain Heald.

On August 14, a visitor arrived at the fort in the person of Captain William Wells. He and 30 Miami warriors had managed to slip past the throng outside and they appeared at the front gates of the fort. Wells was a frontier legend among early soldiers and settlers in the Illinois territory. Captured by Indians as a child, he was adopted into the family of Little Turtle, the famous war chief of the Miami. Later, Wells served as a scout under General “Mad Anthony” Wayne and was currently serving as an Indian agent at Fort Wayne. He was also the uncle of Captain Heald’s wife and after hearing of the evacuation of Fort Dearborn, and knowing the hostile fervor of the local tribes, headed straight to the fort to assist them in their escape. Unfortunately, he had arrived too late.

Late on the evening of the 14th, another council was held between Heald, Wells and the Indians. Heald was told that, despite the anger over the destruction of the ammunition and the whiskey, the garrison would still be conducted to Fort Wayne. In turn, Heald was told that he had to abandon the fort immediately. By this time, Heald had more than just his men and their families to think of. John Kinzie and the other nearby settlers had also come to the fort for protection. Throughout the night, wagons were loaded for travel and reserve ammunition was distributed, amounting to about 25 rounds per man.
Early the next morning, the procession of soldiers, civilians, women and children left the fort. The infantry soldiers led the way, followed by a caravan of wagons and mounted men. The rear of the column was guarded by a portion of the Miami who had accompanied Wells. They, along with Wells himself, did not believe the promises made by the other tribes and they had their faces painted for war.

The column of soldiers and settlers were escorted by nearly 500 Potawatomi Indians. As they marched southward and into a low range of sand hills that separated the beaches of Lake Michigan from the prairie, the Potawatomi moved silently to the right, placing an elevation of sand between they and the white men. The act was carried out with such subtlety that no once noticed it as the column trudged along the shoreline. A little further down the beach, the sand ridge ended and the two groups would come together again.
The column traveled to the an area where 16th Street and Indiana Avenue are now located. There was a sudden milling about of the scouts at the front of the line and suddenly a shout came back from Captain Wells.... the Indians were attacking, he cried! A line of Potawatomi appeared over the edge of the ridge and fired down at the column. Totally surprised, the officers nevertheless managed to rally the men into a battle line, but it was of little use. So many of them fell from immediate wounds that the line collapsed. The Indians overwhelmed them with sheer numbers, flanking the line and snatching the wagons and horses.

What followed was butchery.... officers were slain with tomahawks.. the fort’s surgeon was cut down by gunfire and then literally chopped into pieces ... Mrs. Heald was wounded by gunfire but was spared when she was captured by a sympathetic chief, who spared her life... the wife of one soldier sought so bravely and savagely that she was hacked into pieces before she fell... John Kinzie’s niece was spared but was narrowly wounded by a tomahawk. She was finally spirited away by a Potawotomi named Black Partridge, a childhood friend. In the end, cut down to less than half their original number, the garrison surrendered under the promise of safe conduct. In all, 148 members of the column were killed, 86 of them adults and 12 of them children.
Captain Wells, captured early in the fighting, became so enraged by the slaughter that he managed to escape from his captors. He took a horse and rode furiously into the Potawatomi camp, where their own women and children were hidden. Somehow, the barrage of bullets fired at him missed their mark, but his horse was brought down and he was captured again. Two Indian chiefs interceded to save his life, but Pesotum, a Potawatomi chief, stabbed Wells in the back and killed him. His heart was then cut out and distributed to the other warriors as a token of bravery. The next day, a half-breed Wynadot named Billy Caldwell, gathered the remains of Wells’ mutilated body and buried it in the sand. Wells Street, in Chicago, now bears this brave frontiersman’s name.

In the battle, Captain Heald was wounded twice, while his wife was wounded seven times. They were later released and a St. Joseph Indian named Chaudonaire took them to Mackinac, where they were turned over to the British commander there. He sent them to Detroit and they were exchanged with the American authorities.

'Chi-Rish' Not the South Side Irish Killed the Parade

Marketing idiocy and Media Drumbeats about 'rollicking, boozing 'Get Your Irish On!' Fun euthanized a community event.

There are home-grown nit-wits in the three neighborhoods comprising what is now Irish Chicago ( Beverly, Morgan Park, & Mount Greenwood) - don't get me wrong.

However, there are no where near 300,000 plus people living in these three neighborhoods.

Metra and Fern Bar Bus Deals also contributed handsomely to the demise of the South Side Irish Parade that began as a family affair - the Coakleys, the Hendrys, the Hennesey's & etc. began the tradition in the 1970's by pulling decorated wagons and carts filled with little guys and girls. Parade Chairman Mary Beth Sheehan did a wonderful job over the years trying to maintain that spirit.

The Chicago Police were wonderful! Always!

By 1979, it had become a very good sized event. It became so big that politicians elbowed one another for placement in the parade.

By the new Millennium, the South Side Irish Parade became Mardi Gras North.

One year while working at St. Cajetan's Party ( which was also ended when a drunk driver from the suburbs killed an elderly couple going home from the Party), I decided to walk home and check on the house. One of my kids had left the back door open.

I found five twenty somethings in my kitchen.

'What's happenin' Dude? Yo Irish!'

'What are you doing in here and who are you?'

'Chill. We took a bus down from Niles. We saw the door open and wanted to Pee - Better than your garage man.'

I employed a sexually-charged term of endearment and mustered enough of middle aged purple rage in eyes, brows and neck muscles to indicate a less than welcoming demeanor.

The Two males and three females departed with the customary grace and language of the Entitled Generation.

That was three years ago. It was time to call Last Call on America's Youth.

That is what killed the parade. Miller Advertising*, Media Harping on Booze and Entitled MTV suckled American Youth. No Consequences - No Celebration.

* Way to Go! You Sold Beers and helped Kill a Tradition! There are 1,397 entries for Chi-Rish on Google Led off by NBC.


Click my post title for the Par-Tay Propaganda from NBC e.g.!

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