Showing posts with label Gender Neutral Swedish School -DooDahDooDah. Show all posts
Showing posts with label Gender Neutral Swedish School -DooDahDooDah. Show all posts

Thursday, October 17, 2013

The Pimpslapeur Approach to Shocking Language Works!



Language, even shocking language, requires a bit of commitment.  There are all manner of approaches to language via linguistics.  Linguistics is the study of tongues . . .not literal tongues; rather, the sounds made by tongue clacking slurping and clucking from the old pie hole. You know, speech . . .talk . . .stuff w

I have read and heard advertisements for such language approaches as Rosetta Stone, Pimsleur, and Esperanto Espresso, or Grunt.   I remember taking speed-reading lessons in eighth grammar school based upon Gestalt peripheral reading exercises.  We watched a TV show.  In pre-PC times we would talk ethnic Jewish and Italian until  'Hey!it's became too cold talk!'

I learned Latin and English and used to have a pretty fair command of conversational Spanish.  I can read French and some German thanks to English and Latin lessons.  The language that has really influenced me in my three score years here is Shocking Language.

Shocking Language was learned de la famille, at school, the workplace and most especially the playground. Shocking language happens because shock is easily apprehended even by the tiniest of tots.  A recent University of Maine study attests to the signal advantage shocking language affords lonely, hurt, vulnerable and frustrated children.

I am by nature and inclination a standing eight count.  My earliest childhood memories are honeyed with uncles' knuckles to back of the noggin, sharp words and threats of violence only majesty Cinerama in Technicolor could capture the moment.  Nothing like a whack with a 2X4 on the bridge of nose to one's attention - ' Did you HEAR me, Patrick?'

My name is shocking trochaic dimeter - stress/unstress: PAT rick/ HICKey.  I hear one, or two feet of that and I cover up in the fetal position, awaiting almost certain to arrive buffets and bootings.  No one ever good news'd me with PAT rick, let lone PAT rick/HICK,ey. Shocking.

We can say shocking things as children.  Our infant musings are taken cum grano salis by most adults, except elected officials.  " My Dad, says you got crabs, Mr. DiCola!!"

We were all at one time pygmy Joe Bidens.

My son Conor,at age three,  followed a morbidly obese man around the Amtrak train platform in Niles Michigan explaining to all and sundry -"He likes Cake!  That man likes his Cake!  You like Cake Mister?  That guy likes cake!"  followed by a very maternal muzzling from his wide-eyed Mammy!  I was of absolutely no help, whatsoever.

Scatologically graphic words, phrases and imagery can shock, as much as sexually graphic offenses verbal universal.  However those are much too common, churlish and MTV for our tastes. Such language is only appropriate for persons behind the wheel of an automobile being challenged by Hipsters on bicycles.

Rather, let's consider the application of Shocking Language borne by iconoclastic view masters of the world's sense of propriety.

I was introduced to the parents of prospective students by our marginally educated principal as " Mr. Hickey, Our BeKnighted English Teacher!"

I assured the parents that their two boys would be instructed with more than a few moments of lucidity in my care and assured the shocked Mom and Dad that my grasp of vocabulary exceed the command of my superior Ms. Sheepshanks, a State certified job holder.

The parents were charmed and enrolled their children ASAP.  The educator remains benighted. Shocking language helps, once apprehended as homophone failure sounding  from a Peter Principled Principal..

My Old buddy DooDah Ma#$% of LaPorte County, Indiana was charged with assault following an imbroglio at the Prairie Tavern (PT) in Rolling Prairie. Doodah looked like Randall 'Tex' Cobb on a windy day and was a superior bartender and judge of human worth.

A serial lawsuit perpetrator had staked out PT as his latest victim and pretended to be hurt.  Doodah ushered the man out with some brio and the man's false teeth fell to the floor.  Doodah was asked by the judge about the events.  Doodah explained, " Your Honor, the gentleman in question made a general threat to one and all upon entering.  I detected . . . .smelled you Honor . . . the pungent aroma of marijuana upon his person and asked him to leave.  He refused and gently escorted the man making this accusation to the door. At the door, this man returned my courtesies and patience with hocker spat in my direction which I dodged."

The robed County magistrate was spell bound, " What then Mr. Mag#$%?"

" I bitch-slapped him, " replied well-spoken tap-tun.

"Please, explain Mr. Mag#$%," encouraged the jurists." I whacked him in the chops with back of my hand Your Honor . . .you know . . .a bitch slap?"

"Continue, MR. Ma#$%, ordered the Hoosier Black Robe.

" I picked up the man's bridge work washed it off in the sink and returned the undamaged choppers to the larcenous dope smoker. . ." and with a majestic sweep of his arm announced, " in full view of twenty sober and industrious Christians, now Present, Your Honor!"

Case dismissed.

Shocking language?  Shocking testimony and shockingly sound judgment.

Thursday, June 30, 2011

Same Folks Who Buy Gender Neutral Probably Bought Pajama Jeans and a Hummer

Them ain't cowboy-boots, there Par'd! But, they will take you as far as Miss Kitty's Long-branch and all you might possibly dream!


John Kass beat me to the punch -sorry about the pugilist tropes this early.

Beat me like a four-fingered cousin from Scartaglen, staying with us until she gets her Green Card, because the Prendeville's in Ontario had no room for the poor homely thing.

Kass jumped all over the news about the Swedish Pre-School dedicated to gelding little boys and butching up little girls.

Gender neutrality is the ideal at Egalia, a Swedish preschool that made huge news recently. And it's the kind of news that makes American dads spew their oatmeal at breakfast.

"Society expects girls to be girly, nice and pretty, and boys to be manly, rough and outgoing," Jenny Johnsson, a 31-year-old Swedish teacher, said in an Associated Press story. "Egalia gives them a fantastic opportunity to be whoever they want to be."

I get it, girls shouldn't be nice and pretty. And boys must not be rough and outgoing. It's all laid out by relentlessly progressive experts and bureaucrats, aided by so-called gender pedagogues who hunt down gender differences and blot them out.

Unleashing the gender police on children to snuff out dangerous proclivities toward gender roles tells me one thing.

It tells me that Swedish bureaucrats don't have kids.


It tells me Brother John, if I may call you by that hirsute and sweaty appellation, that these morphadites rarely get out of the bureaucratic cubicle, much less get any such opportunity to pro-create.

The Swedish school will fly, for a while, because America has provided a surplus population of affluent nit-wits with the ready cash to buy Pajama Jeans, Hummers (ever watch a moron try to parallel park a Hummer around 31st & Princeton to avoid paying for White Sox Parking?), Keurig B3000 coffeemaker which lasts about six months, or the Home Juicers at $1,400 a pop. Disposable income and really dumb ideas, like Progressive politics, go hand-in-hand.

The gender neutral, we are all the same, meme is the coin of the realm of the laughable. The laughable are always dead-serious, The rest of us are just too damn polite to scream "ARE YOU OUT OF YOUR $%^&ing MIND?" while hosing coffee and bottled water out of the old snot-locker at the latest presentation by Marque Ozzoro and Lotte Vuhlsheet at the recent CAPS, LSC, Altar and Rosary, or League of Women Bowlers meetings.

Let's get serious and start laughing at loud at these mopes. We have a sane world to restore and giggles be a great recuperative implement. John Kass' article is real kidney tickler.