2010 Christmas Carols for the Pschologically Challenged - Get the Jump on Next Yule

1. SCHIZOPHRENIA : Do You Hear What We Hear?

2. AMNESIA : I Don't Know If I'll Be Home for Christmas.

3. NARCISSIST : Hark the Herald Angels Sing-All About Me .
4. MANIC : Deck the Halls and Walls and House and Lawn and Streets and Stores and Office and Town and Cars and Buses and Trucks and Trees and Fire Hydrants, and . . .

5. MULTIPLE PERSONALITY DISORDER : We Three Queens Disoriented Are.

6. PARANOID : Santa Claus Is Coming To Get Me.

7. BORDERLINE PERSONALITY DISORDER : Thoughts of Roasting on an Open Fire.

8. FULL PERSONALITY DISORDER : You Better Watch Out! I'm Gonna cry; I'm Gonna Pout! -- Maybe I'll Tell You Why .

9. OBSESSIVE COMPULSIVE DISORDER : Jingle Bells, Jingle Bells, Jingle Bells, Jingle Bells, Jingle Bells, Jingle Bells, Jingle Bells . . .

10. AGORAPHOBIA : I Heard the Bells on Christmas Day, but Wouldn't Leave My House..

11. SENILE DEMENTIA : Walking in a Winter Wonderland -- Miles from My House in My Slippers and Robe

12. OPPOSITIONAL DEFIANCE DISORDER : I Saw Mommy Kissing Santa Claus...so I Burned Down the House.

13. SOCIAL ANXIETY DISORDER : Have Yourself a Merry Little Christmas, While I Sit Here and Hyperventilate

14. ATTENTION DEFICIT DISORDER : We Wish You . . . Hey Look!!! It's Snowing!!!

Huge hat tip to Max Wesmann of the Center for the Study of Great Ideas

National Public Television Devastated by 1st Celebrity Swine Flu Death

The Serial Whisperers of Public Television were confronted with the Grim-Reaper! Younger than Pete Seeger and with more spring to his step, Sesame Street's iconic frog appears to have had a much too fatal attraction.

Question would this be considered an STD by CDC? That was piggish of me.