"The beverage tax is not the cause nor the solution to Cook County's financial challenges," said Brian Jordan, president of the Illinois Food Retailers Association.
Didn't sound like much back in July, but now this could be slogan of a Cook County counter-revolution. Store counter, that is. The irony of the photo above is just magical.
The Signs of a Cook County tax are everywhere! Bi-lingual of course, but printed in non-union shops to save costs.
A Radical Idea from Your Betters! -Idea radical de tus superiores!
Way to Tax! Viva! -Larga vida a los impuestos!
Fight Fat Asses! No más culos gordos!
Think of the Children, Bitches!- ¡Piensa en los niños, putas!
Let's Give Toni Some Sugar! -Vamos a darle a Toni un poco de azúcar!
Well, Supersize my cynicism! Toni Preckwinkle, the most humorless and gormless of all government goons, shopped for an found a judge to jam this Sweetened Beverage Tax up, down or into any orifice considered by individual Cook County residents the most . . .uncomfortable.
CHICAGO — Diet Coke heads, take note: just because the sugar in your pop is fake, you'll still be paying more for it starting Wednesday as Cook County's sweetened beverage tax finally goes into effect, adding a penny per ounce to the cost of bottled drinks.
The tax will hike the price of a 2-liter bottle by 68 cents and a six-pack by 72 cents.
Though often dubbed the "pop tax," the fee, narrowly approved in November 2016 by the Cook County Board, actually applies to hundreds of beverages beyond soft drinks.
The tax is expected to raise $200 million a year for Cook County, which the county needs to keep its books out of the red, according to Cook County Board President Toni Preckwinkle.
Every ounce of sugary liquid sends a penny to the Cook Coffers. Gee, what could go wrong?
Pennies from heaven? Nah, more like corpses stacked high in Toni' crypt until carted off to some subterranean cold storage. I imagine the 40 oz slurpees purchased at Kean Gas Station by County, City and State workers added to the larder until . . .Friday.
Then, like so many Chicago residents did with the idiotic plastic bag tax, residents will hop in the Prius and hybrid over to County Line road south, west and north to pick up cases of Mountain Dew, Fanta, Wildwood, Dr. Pepper and his collegaues Dr.s Bold, Skippy and Becker, Sweetened teas and all manner of Gatorades.
At the 7-11 on 111th & Kedzi, a 28 ounce frozen drink (Slurpee, Slushie, or Whatever) bounces up from blue collar $ 1.75 to the Majestic price of $ 2.03.
Do the math. 12 ounces = 12 more cents and on and on.
Buy a Cook County Case of Coke and that is 288 pennies to Toni! $2.88 on top of City and County taxes already stamped to your receipt.
I expect Slushee sales to sink.
Will, DuPage and Lake Counties can expect a spike in sales of sugary drinks and the State of Indiana will be selling pop like fireworks.
Cook County residents voted all too happily for the obtuse Xanthipe, who ran poor old Zeus off to the Zamboanga, knowing that Todd Stroger could not do worse, will spend more gas buying pop in Peotone and Palatine, in the dim hope that they might come out a bit ahead.
Can't happen, Neighbor.
We screwed our beds and must lay in them.
Pop goes the weasels like clockwork.
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