Thursday, March 14, 2013

Oh, Bitter Dicta! Sun Times Editorial Board Re-Writes St. Francis to Welcome Pope Francis

 Listen to her!  About what*, I have absolutely no clue.

St. Francis, though born to wealth and position, cared nothing for material things and even less for hierarchy or rules. Sun Times Editorial 3/14/13

Pope Francis no sooner appeared through the curtains of the Papal window above St. Peter's Square than the 40 Watt powered intellects of the Sun Times Editorial Team ( read Carol Marin) decided to do a solid for abortion - gay marriage happy and sacerdotal ordination sappy nuns.  Now, though Ms. Marin is not, per se, a member of this august opinion panel, the tracks of her tears for the protesting nuns flood this tabloid. Hence, today's Papal Marin-ade!
Too often in recent decades, the Catholic Church has been defined — and defined itself — by what it opposes in modern life. It has stood mightily against abortion. It has opposed premarital sex and all forms of contraception. It has opposed same-sex marriage.
It has opposed the ordination of women as priests. It has called on the carpet American nuns whose only offense was to look and sound a little too liberal, focusing on issues of poverty and health care rather than on abortion.
While Chicago Catholics obviously are not of one mind on such public policy issues, we suspect they share our concern that the Church should be less a “party of no” and more a force for enlightened good. (emphases my own)

Egads, Citizens!  Pope City is GOP Headquarters!

Placing the Church universal in the Carol Marinade might boost interest among Ms. Marin's legion of fan in taking a gander, in deference to the geese, at her Sun Times Video All About Carol World print and electronic app, but  it is spoiled sauce.

First of all this editorial balloon juice holds that the 13th Century mystic monk  "cared nothing for material things and even less for hierarchy or rules."

Francis of Assisi was not named Francis by Mom and Pop.   He was baptized Giovanni son of Pietro and his bride Pica:  Pete and Pica's boy Jack..  Old Pete did pretty well as a merchant.  This was the time of the Crusades, which did more for building the middle class of Europe than it did freeing Jerusalem from the Turks and like any doting Dad, Old Pete decked the kid out in some snappy duds and tossed him the keys to the charabanc, or a stallion.

So taken was opulent young Jack with the latest fashions from . . .France! . . .that Old Pete started calling the boy Frenchy, or Franchesco - "No one loved pleasure more than Francis; he had a ready wit, sang merrily, delighted in fine clothes and showy display. Handsome, gay, gallant, and courteous, he soon became the prime favourite among the young nobles of Assisi, the foremost in every feat of arms, the leader of the civil revels, the very king of frolic." Thomas of Celano

Giovanni is no different from all  regular guys universal and historical .  One of the rites of passage is having other people define you in recognition of physical traits, quirks of character, or unresolved issues in manly development - to some tepidly blooded individual that is called bullying.  A guy with a head the size of a boulder in a Gene Autry movie might be called Headsy; one with auditory appendages that give him the appearance of a Taxi speeding at you with its driver and passenger side doors open, might be the recipient of the appellation Ears. Frenchy it was; thus, it shall be.

The kid went off to the army of Assisi , which had its collective ass handed to it by Perugia and Frenchy became a POW. Being a prisoner of war, even for a well-to-do kid of privilege, wakes one up I imagine and I am sure that Franceso of the Army Assisi learned all about cold, hunger, loneliness and pain.  Old Pete eventually bought the lad out and Pete's boy returned to his roistering ways, which got the boy pretty run-down and liverish.

Frenchy slowed down his alcoholic intake, laid off the trans fatty acids and gave the bread basket a pass.With the  spare time clean living afforded him, Frenchy took to reflection, meditation and prayer.  He had changed.

He had changed so much that he decided his rather brief military dreams should allow God to turn the swords into crosses.  He would command Crusaders for the Pope - that's hierarchy by the way. Guess what Frenchy asked permission to group like minded gents, not ladies, to form up with him to help the Church. Instead of chasing skirts and busting heads in gin-mills Frenchy and his pals went about nursing lepers and eventually sold their colorful high-priced duds and bling and now sported wool tunics the color of donkeys and jackasses.  At first these guys were hooted at and verbally bullied, but managed to act in a manner that was on-the-level.  More guys wanted to good. Just like in real life.

Francis asked permission to form the Friars Minor - the little brothers; not the big shots.  They had no 13th Centiry ad men designing frescoes to tout The Frenchy Report is a fast-paced, insightful look at the day's top news from renowned Perugia POW and Veteran monk Frenchy Assisi. Watch it each weekday at noon. Instead he wrote THE RULE OF THIRD ORDER OF FRIARS MINOR!

St. Francis, though born to wealth and position, cared nothing for material things and even less for hierarchy or rules. Sun Times Editorial 3/14/13

One -Frenchy cared for material goods and services -BUt he gave them a pass.
Two -Frenchy respected authority and sought out permission from the Hierarchy
Three- He not only followed the rules; he wrote the Rules.

It seems to me that the ego-maniacal Ms. Marin bullied the balance of board into making the paper's Gaudeamus Papam an idiotic Progressivo Monialis Edictum - Rebel Nunsense.  The disident nuns are not to be confused with the real nuns.  The disident nuns are whackjobs who demand that priests be women, Catholic doctrine must be acceptable to Pope Bill Moyers and WTTW and that heart wants what the heart wants.  I never run into the dissident nuns, because I work at a Catholic school.  Dissident nuns have time on the hands. Real nuns are too busy actually doing some good.

This silly editorial demand that the Nuns be Heard! by Pope Francis.Who, Pope, Preacher, or Pimp has NOT heard the loud Ladies of Liturgical Dance?   Again, the answer will be a resounding no. A priest is a guy.  Two guys can not make a baby.  Promiscuity can not be parsed.

The dissident nun is unhappy.  She is a woman.  The Church hierarchy is guys.  For too many dissident nuns, becoming an Anglican (Episcopalian priest) is no-longer an option due to age and Unitarians do not have Nun Retirement communities.  Unhappy.

Sad to say, these unhappy women will never cheer up.

If the editorial geniuses can be so wrong about their initial premise ( Francis WAS a Rebel Marxist), imagine how wrong, silly, sad and stupid the rest of the piece can be . . .on so many levels.

 Sun Times Editorial Board? As far as I know,  the Editorial Page Editor is Tom McNamee and he has help.

 Obiter Dicta - An obiter dictum is a remark or observation made by a judge that, although included in the body of the court's opinion, does not form a necessary part of the court's decision. 

No comments: