Saturday, September 02, 2017

Chance the Rapper Cleaned My Gutters and Made Me Breakfast This Morning!!!!

Image result for Chance the Rapper on the roof

I have been really cynical.  That's harsh.

I read most papers and most Chicago papers offer at least one account of Chance the Rapper

  • Hands out money for arts programs at 20 CPS schools
  • Raises $ 2m for CPS
  • Grand Marshalls the Bud Billiken Parade
  • Grills Chicken at Nando's for charity
  • Explains 'becoming upper-management' to CNBC
  • Announces free concerts ( hourly)
  • Lectures Rahm Emanuel at La Lapalooza
  • Gets Props from Obama as needed
  • Changes the trajectory of North Korean missiles away from Guam, Japan and the Philippines.
  • Swims the English channel
  • Cuts every tree in the Sahara Forest
  • Eats Kyptonite with soy milk
He does these mighty deeds and produces many dope tunes and videos

The guy is prodigious and what do a I do with my life?

Teach.  Go to Mariano's and Brother Rice Freshman football games.

I thought that Chance the Rapper was merely the figment of a public relations man's genius.

Was I wrong. 

This morning I woke to the sound of footsteps on my roof.  No it was not Santa!  It was better.

Chancery Bennett, better known as Chance the Rapper was atop my home in the Morgan Park neighborhood of Chicago, armed with 55 gallon plastic garbage bags and cleaning my gutters of branches, Maple tree whirlybirds, bottle rockets from 4th of July and other air-born gutter chokers.

The young man worked my roof like the crowds at the Apollo in Manchester, UK on November 26, 2016.

I called up to him, " What are you doing up there, young fella?"Image result for Chance the Rapper on the roof

He smiled, " I think it's so dope that I'm here in Chicago and contributing to the music scene that's thriving. People are so happy Chicago's shining that everyone is willing to say 'I represent Chicago.' That wasn't always the case."

" No, I meant specifically, Kid.  Why are you doing my gutters?"  I replied. 

The Rapper shrugged, "Music can kind of make you one-dimensional. People see what's on the surface and what you rap about, and they make their decision on who you are from there." He finished the job, emptied the plastic bags into environmentally friendly brown yard waste bags, placed the black plastic bags in a haversack for re-use, carefully took down the extension ladder and attached it to the frames of his Escalade and asked to use my bathroom.

When Chance the Rapper had given his hands a good scrubbing with Lava - the hand soap - He immediately went to my ice-box and prepared to make me a slap-up breakfast of 

  • Monkey-Bread Danish. Danish meets monkey bread. ...
  • Red Velvet Pancakes. Sexiest breakfast ever. ...
  • Onion & Arugula Frittata. ...
  • Sweet Crepes with Caramelized Pears. ...
  • Candied Bacon. ...
  • Homemade Toaster Pastries. ...
  • Yogurt Biscuits with Honey Butter. ...
  • Green Smoothie with Avocado and Apple.
I asked Chance the Rapper to join me and tuck-into the great feed that he had prepared.

With his thumb he pushed up the flat over-sized brim of his # 3 White Sox cap and with a quizzical smile said, "The whole point of 'Acid Rap' was just to ask people a question: does the music business side of this dictate what type of project this is? If it's all original music and it's got this much emotion around it and it connects this way with this many people, is it a mixtape? What's an 'album' these days, anyways?"

What, indeed?

With that, he vanished between chews.Image result for Chance the Rapper on the roof

Am I cynical?  


Ryan Kelly said...


Jim Ridings said...

He's amazing. Yesterday, he mowed my lawn and then cleaned out all the drug dealers and gang bangers in Kankakee. And that was just before lunch.

Kevin vc said...

Maybe he could pay off my IRS bill or my past due credit card??