'Don't Taze Me, Bro!' - Faustus 2008

David Bowie from The Prestige (Click my post title for the news link.)

O God!
If thou wilt not have mercy on my soul, 60
Yet for Christ’s sake whose blood hath ransom’d me,
Impose some end to my incessant pain;
Let Faustus live in hell a thousand years—
A hundred thousand, and—at last—be sav’d!
O, no end is limited to damned souls! 65
Why wert thou not a creature wanting soul?
Or why is this immortal that thou hast?
Ah, Pythogoras’ metempsychosis! were that true,
This soul should fly from me, and I be chang’d
Unto some brutish beast! All beasts are happy, 70
For when they die,
Their souls are soon dissolv’d in elements;
But mine must live, still to be plagu’d in hell.
Curst be the parents that engend’red me!
No, Faustus: curse thyself: curse Lucifer 75
That hath depriv’d thee of the joys of Heaven. The clock striketh twelve.
O, it strikes, it strikes! Now, body, turn to air,
Or Lucifer will bear thee quick to hell. Thunder and lightning.
O soul, be chang’d into little water-drops,
And fall into the ocean—ne’er be found. 80
My God! my God! look not so fierce on me! Enter DEVILS.
Adders and serpents, let me breathe awhile!
Ugly hell, gape not! come not, Lucifer!
I’ll burn my books!—Ah Mephistophilis!

The Tragical History of Dr. Faustus Scene XIV


Christopher Marlowe had a way of looking at bad judgment: Faustus a Student - really smart guy and an active member of Moveon.org's Wittenburg Unversity Chapter, made a compact with Mephistophilis - Lucifer's ( The Devil) lawyer.

The Faustus kid was given all the powers of his Alchemist ( Rocket Scientist) Art - he could conjure up hot Babes ( Helen of Troy) and the power to Punk the Pope - 'You Been Punk'd Dude!' Until time was up. Then, in the speech above, like our young scapegrace in Florida, Herr Meyer, Faustus got Tazed - dragged to Hell by, Lucifer's Jon Loevy-like lawyer - Satan sued the cops after getting his Fork-tailed butt kicked by Michael the Archangel - The Patron Saint of Cops. Lawyers and devils - you gotta hand it to them.

Our American universities really need to slow-down to 60MPH, open the door of the academic Volvo and kick more Finklesteins and Churchills out of teaching. Maybe then young Faustus 2008 may know when not to over-play his tiny hand, by reading what is magnificent in our Human Culture.

By the way, the Tazered Student is never heard, just like our boy Faustus, to say 'I am truly sorry for what I have done.' Marlowe knew. So, do most parents.