If I Load the President's Teleprompter, Tonight's SOTUS Address

One way to be very happy is to be very rich ( pause)
For then you can buy orchids by the quire and bacon by the flitch. (Do The Mussolini)
And yet at the same time People don’t mind if you only tip them a dime,
Because it’s very funny ( Smile Look around an point to a Republican Senator)
But somehow if you’re rich enough you can get away with spending water like money ( Blow a Kiss at McConnell)
While if you’re not rich you can spend in one evening your salary for the year
And everybody will just stand around and jeer. ( Do the Mussolini again and hold it)
If you are rich you don’t have to think twice about buying a judge or a horse, ( chuckle to yourself and then get real serious)
Or a lower instead of an upper, or a new suit, or a divorce,
And you never have to say When, ( Laugh like Glenn Beck)
And you can sleep every morning until nine or ten,
All of which
Explains why I should like very, very much to be very, very rich.

The United States, America ! Let's Give it up! Thank you!