US Prosecutor Patrick Fitzgerald & Blago- Ahab Harpooning a Smelt

... to the last I grapple with thee; from hell's heart I stab at thee; for hate's sake I spit my last breath at thee. US Attorney Patrick Fitzgerald . . .I mean Captain Ahab.

Stacy St. Clair of the Chicago Tribune and Natasha Korecki of the Chicago Sun Times are two of my favorite reporters. Each young lady is a skilled craftsman and dedicated reporter of facts.

Today, Stacy St. Clair offers an opinion piece. Rather, it is a thought piece, as it lays out the Blagojevich Trial and role played by Chicago's Gregory Peck -Federal Prosecutor Patrick Fitzgerald. Fitzy is not masking as Atticus Finch; rather, he is Ahab armed with a harpoon tipped and steeled with tantic metal, forged in the blood of his crew and hunting the The Great White Smelt* - Blago! "... to the last I grapple with thee; from hell's heart I stab at thee; for hate's sake I spit my last breath at thee."

U.S. Attorney Patrick Fitzgerald has kept a remarkably low profile during the corruption trial of former Gov. Rod Blagojevich, largely avoiding the courtroom and the media throughout the summer and appearing only occasionally to catch a key moment or two from an overflow room where just audio can be heard.

But any attempt to distance himself from the Blagojevich carnival is probably futile.

The case is undoubtedly the apex of Fitzgerald's Chicago tenure, which is, of course, saying something, given he has made a career of toppling high-ranking politicians, mobsters and terrorists. Fitzgerald, though, put his personal stamp on the Blagojevich case early by declaring that the extraordinary pre-dawn arrest of a sitting governor was necessary to stop a "political corruption crime spree."

However, the Great White Whale of Corruption involves an endless network of financial self-interest formed by Progressives and leagued with machine politics - Rezko is not the mythical barnacle goose that spawned from fungus - rather he is a Golden Mushoom upon which tons of self-interest born from banking, labor, organized crime, Hyde Park Goo-goos and also the daffy old Machine Bosses were heaped. This network includes our President, Shorebank, Real Estate Dealers like Allison Davis, labor spawned political Iagos Rahm Emanuel, Valerie Jarrett and SEIU's Andy Stern. However Ahab Fitzgerald sees not the WHALE. . . only the White Smelt Blago.. . ."to the last I grapple with thee; from hell's heart I stab at thee; for hate's sake I spit my last breath at thee!"

He has tossed his harpoon! Let's see if Blago breaches with Fitz entwined in the ropes on the fish.

Well done Stacy St. Clair!

* Lake Michigan is loaded with smelt -any of various small, silvery food fishes of the family Osmeridae, of cold northern waters, as the North American rainbow smelt, Osmerus mordax.

Oh, Dear Reader! U of I Dean Tells All -about something. Apologies to Stacy St. Clair and Jodi Cohen

Trustee meddling in student affairs at the University of Illinois' flagship campus extended beyond admissions as one board member made sure his relative got the classes he wanted, an associate dean testified Monday before a state panel.

Ms. Doyen Sheepshanks, associate dean of the College of Liberal Arts and Sciences, told the Illinois Admissions Review Commission that she received a "directive" from the provost's office in 2003 to help the student secure spots in classes that were already filled.

In doing so, the student jumped over scores of others ahead of him in the queues, she said.

"I remember it distinctly because of how distasteful I found it to be, but nevertheless, why put off memories, been invited on dates; might have gone but what for; awfully different without you; don't get around much any more." Dean Sheepshanks told the panel, which is investigating abuses at the Urbana-Champaign campus. . . .

The trustee's relative eventually registered for four of the six classes he wanted, the associate dean said. He was denied entry to one course because the room could not accommodate another morbidly obese student under the fire code and was rejected from the other when a department chair balked at such nepotism, poor grooming, nostril hair and halitosis, Sheepshanks testified.

The incident marked at least the second time the trustee's relative received preferential treatment on his class schedule, she said. In the 2003 case, the student had not registered for classes at his assigned time and was shut out of several courses when he eventually tried, but managed to spend the entire semester playing pool and caging drinks from Graduate students of the School of Economics.

"If they had used the regular enrollment time, they would have gotten in on their own,but as the directive had come from the Provost, distasteful at it might seem, I nevertheless inked a pithy note on good quality Florentine card stock, which was a gift from gentleman that I met at this quaint truck stop in Gilman, or was it Paxton . . .nevertheless, he was a robust and lusty poet-Teamster with leonine hair that waved luxuriantly even without the faintest of breeze and the Arms of an Adonis, or a Francis Boyle and we dallied a bit in Arcola and purchased delightful Amish candies and soaps, but . . . the wanderlust doused the torch of passion, we parted sweetly and I must uphold the Woman's burden." she said.

The student later sent a letter to college officials apologizing for the trustee's meddling, saying he never wanted preferential treatment. " It was cool that you helped. I can't be the Chief, so why go to U of I? I mean, my posse is going to SIU and they party cheaper in Giant City and Cobden. Gotta bounce! Peace out!"

Sheepshanks refused to identify the student or the trustee, citing federal laws protecting student privacy, but waxed rhapsodical about the Gentleman Poet- Teamster and their Arcola Idyll.

After all. long time ( 16 years) University Boss Stanley Ikenberry said nothing like this happened on his watch! As far as he wished to tell.

Profound apologies to the fine work of Chicago Tribune's Stacy St. Clair and Jodi Cohen. Keep these fatuous folks a talking!

DO! Oh, do, Dear Reader, click my post title for the fine work of St. Clair and Cohen. Like good homicide detectives, the Chicago Tribune keeps these goofs talking.