Wallace Stevens and Ron White - Stays Against a Tide of Stupid: Jane Fonda, Dildos and Dick Durbin

Then Judah said to Onan, “Sleep with your brother’s wife and fulfill your duty to her as a brother-in-law to raise up offspring for your brother.” But Onan knew that the child would not be his; so whenever he slept with his brother’s wife, he spilled his semen on the ground to keep from providing offspring for his brother. What he did was wicked in the Lord’s sight; so the Lord put him to death also. Genesis 38 8-10

There should be no shame in the vibrator game. Heidi Stevens- Chicago Tribune 

          The next time you have a thought... let it go. Ron White

Guess I'm just a crusty old so-and-so.  I read in order to soak up the goings-on, the go-getters and the Grace giving goodness of people on this earth, but often find myself stewing in the bile coughed up by the truly stupid.

Were the world in the capable hands of Ron White things might be just a little more whole some, giggle-giving and affirming that God loves us. T'aint so.

God has given us free-will and too many columnists like Chicago Tribune's Heidi Stevens, Mary Schmich, Eric Zorn and Rex Huppke to wade through to get to John Kass.

Then, from the Merchandise Mart, the Chicago Sun Times thickens the fairway with weeds like Michael Sneed, Lynn Sweet, Mark Brown and Neil Steinberg, in order to play through to reports by Tim Novak.

This morning, instead of averting my eyes like my soul thunders for me to do, I went and read Heidi Stevens' chirpy ad for dildos.  Jane Fonda's frank sex toy talk opens the door for a generation -  Mother of God! Really, this is a regular column written by a nitwit who acts as the culture guardian of suburban women and metrosexuals.

Get this!  "Seventy-nine-year-old Jane Fonda is doing for vibrators what 44-year-old Jane Fonda did for aerobics videos: mainstreaming them.

And not a moment too soon. . . .The new season of her critically acclaimed Netflix series, "Grace and Frankie," co-starring Lily Tomlin, sees the two women launch a business selling sex toys for women. If you happen to drive down Vine Street in Hollywood, you might see a giant billboard of Fonda and Tomlin holding ribbed, purple objects under the words "Good vibes" — in case there was any confusion about what they're holding.  And if you watch "The Ellen DeGeneres Show," you may have happened upon Fonda unveiling a vibrator on daytime TV. (Take that, "The View"!) . . .

Cleansing breath - If you watch the View, you are way past worrying about.

Back to vagina vibrating with Heidi Stevens.

"I applaud her," said Lauren Streicher, medical director of Northwestern Memorial Hospital's Center for Sexual Medicine and Menopause. "I've been trying to talk about this on daytime TV for years, and no one will have any part of it."
Fifty-two percent of American women use a vibrator, Streicher said, according to a 2009 study published in the Journal of Sexual Medicine. And women over 60, in particular, need to know about their benefits.
"Sometimes nerve endings aren't as sensitive as they used to be, so what did it for you before isn't going to necessarily do it anymore," said Streicher, who wrote "Sex Rx: Hormones, Health, and Your Best Sex Ever" (Dey St.). "In addition, you have a lot of medical conditions — diabetes, cardiovascular disease, multiple sclerosis — that can cause a desensitization of nerve endings, so there is a need for increased stimulation."

So,  data!   As useful to onanists as the Paul Simon Institute's pre-caste polling.

The social engineers Steicher, Stevens, De Generis and Fonda argue that most women practise onanism - you know - wank, jerk off, jack off, toss off, bring oneself off,  and pleasure oneself - to use the Gone With the Wind trope -fiddle-dee-dee!

Isolated, solitary, all by their lonesome vaginas are liberating!  No masters; No God!  No Problems!

How about guys?  They love to Date Miss Michigan!  I must admit, that the image of Barbarella doing the business trumps that guy, Torrence Ivy, from the Red Line.  Celebrity and all.

A Celebrity endorsement in this Age of Resistance is often just not enough - even for a woman with the woke vagina to sit her business end on the business end of a Viet Cong flak pumper in 1967, is not enough - for a Medill-do columnist.  The Chicago Tribune's go-to academics largely come from Northwestern University - home of Medill-do School of Journalism (unaccredited - n'cest pas), where the Sun Times turns to the Blue Demon Social Justice Warriors of City Hall Connected De Paul University. 

The Sun Times wastes a bunch of space tell us that Senator Dick Durbin had an outpatient heart procedure, whatever that means.  Now, if he had an outpatient brain surgery that would be something!  And fun to watch.

As it is, my bile is up.  When that happens I turn to Wallace Stevens.

I chose The Plot Against The Giant - this delightful poem presents women at their best.  Three clever credits to their gender apply the sense smell, sight and sound to bedevil an ogre that is no doubt like meself.

First Girl
When this yokel comes maundering,
Whetting his hacker,
I shall run before him,
Diffusing the civilest odors
Out of geraniums and unsmelled flowers.
It will check him.
Second Girl
I shall run before him,
Arching cloths besprinkled with colors
As small as fish-eggs.
The threads
Will abash him.
Third Girl
Oh, la...le pauvre!
I shall run before him,
With a curious puffing.
He will bend his ear then.
I shall whisper
Heavenly labials in a world of gutturals.
It will undo him.
Wallace Stevens :

Labials are consonant sounds that require both upper and lower lips in mutual application - POP!

That sure undoes me.

After Fonda, Heidi Stevens and Lauren Streicher, set my bile a bubble, a penis dragging poet put me in fine perspective with touching anything but my soul.

If not Wallace Stevens, I turn to Ron White.



                     

John McCain: Tom Hayden of Lefty Vets and Comrade of Billy Ayers Tweaks Hillary's Angry White Women

Cherokee-Blood-On- My-Birkenstock's Philbin, Vasser '64 DID NOT VOTE FOR HILLARY!!! Photo of Cherokee Courtesy of Frank Nofsinger of the great State of Connecticut - Patriot and Womanizer (ret.)

Tom Hayden, the poster boy for Students for a Democratic Society - the Brownies for the Weather Underground - back in the Days of Rage!!!!! - shares his own and his wife's frustrations over the voters who do not goose-step to the Obama Pennsylvania Polka!

Tom was one of the Chicago Seven and later went into the Ben and Jerry's of Activism - soaking the rich through 501(c) 3s - BOOM POWER!

Hayden was sweet on Jane Fonda, who, herself, was spurned by the crippled Yankee Running Dog Air Bandit McCain during his stay at the Hanoi Hilton - Hanoi Jane, of the later day workout tapes, managed to get several American POWs tortured, howsomever, - and I believe one Prisoner was murdered at the hands of Peoples Liberation Army - when Fonda ratted-out these pilots for palming a message to their families with her. They thought that the daughter of a WWII Navy Man, and a movie star at that, would give them a hand. Nope. Old Henry Fonda had to be busting his buttons with pride over that stunt by Jane.

Seems a shame the Hanoi Jane was never brought up on treason charges, but what the hell do I know? Rather, whom do I know? No one with that kind of JUICE.

John McCain refused to speak or even meet with Fonda - who wanted the plum visit with the son of the Pacific Fleet Commander. Ah, Memories!

Well, Tom Hayden, while earnest and radically active, has a face like a smashed ass - no big deal so do I - and Jane gave him the gate. Evidently, another Sister of the Struggle gave Hayden the Hands On signal - anyway - ( Gabby little bastard ain't I?) Hayden pushed out a piece for the Grecian Formula of Obama Doctrine (Huffington Post - Hollywood Squares Without Borders) on this, the morning of Obama's crushing Keystone Wake-Up Call. It seems Tom Hayden's Missus hates Hillary - and, now, so does Summer of Love Hayden:

To use the current terminology, Hillary people are bitter people, even more bitter than the white working class voters Barack has talked about. Because they circle the wagons so tightly, they don't recognize how identical, self-reinforcing and out-of-touch they are.

To take just one example, the imagined association between Barack Obama and Bill Ayers will suffice. Hillary is blind to her own roots in the Sixties. In one college speech she spoke of ecstatic transcendence; in another, she said, "our social indictment has broadened. Where once we exposed the quality of life in the world of the South and the ghettos, now we condemn the quality of work in factories and corporations. Where once we assaulted the exploitation of man, now we decry the destruction of nature as well. How much long can we let corporations run us?" She was in Chicago for three nights during the 1968 street confrontations. She chaired the 1970 Yale law school meeting where students voted to join a national student strike again an "unconscionable expansion of a war that should never have been waged." She was involved in the New Haven defense of Bobby Seale during his murder trial in 1970, as the lead scheduler of student monitors. She surely agreed with Yale president Kingman Brewster that a black revolutionary couldn't get a fair trial in America. She wrote that abused children were citizens with the same rights as their parents. [75] Most significantly in terms of her recent attacks on Barack, after Yale law school, Hillary went to work for the left-wing Bay Area law firm of Truehaft, Walker and Burnstein, which specialized in Black Panthers and West Coast labor leaders prosecuted for being communists. Two of the firm's partners, according to Treuhaft, were communists and the two others "tolerated communists". Then she went on to Washington to help impeach Richard Nixon, whose career was built on smearing and destroying the careers of people through vague insinuations about their backgrounds and associates. [all citations from Carl Bernstein's sympathetic biography, A Woman in Charge, 2007, pp. 67,69,70,75, 83]

Ah, the 60's! Ubi Sunt! They are giving poor old Barack Obama's Campaign the Flashback Miseries and the Twizzles! Lord Have Mercy.

Click My Post Title for Hayden's Symphony in Flat Tones
Tom Hayden