Surfing? Nice for Girls. Give me Calumet River Bullhead Riding Any Day!

Chicago's Park District will open five (5) Beaches to Surfing.

That will be swell and gratifying for the girls, daisies and dandies. However, real men -19th Ward Variety will continue to make their own Tsunami's on the Cal-Sag Canal and the Mighty Calumet River riding the back of the noble bullhead fish (photo above).

With decades of toxic wastes invigorating the species, men and more than a few lesbians have harnessed the power of Darwinian Increase by leathering up a harness for mansized rides on hungry bullheads. The torpedo has not been built to match the full dorsal power this Fin-Igan's Wake!

Charlie Olson and I tried Bullhead Riding on the Kankakee River but the damn water was too clean and fresh and we crushed the life out of the poor fish by hopping on - that's no sport. Nope, the Calumet or the Cal-Sag are the only toxic water rodeos for real men with a lust for danger, yet see the spark of loving grace in Nature's Bounty - no matter how filthy that Bounty gets to be!

I have gotten away from the cares and woes of this Vale of Tears for a few precious hours by taking the old harness down to the Calumet River, when I lived in Griffith, Indiana and now the Cal-Sag.

I bait up liversausage and onion sandwich onto the lure pole and off we go - Just me and and Old Ameiurus Melas knifing a causeway of water down the center of Cal-Sag that washes over the docks and levies! Wetsuit Be-Damned and Hair ( widow's peak really) awash in the browney foam of the Cal-Sag!!!!

Let the girls surf! The Men will be BullHeading the Cal-Sag!