BitCoin "Super" Trips" on Information Highway! The Tyranny of the Smart Kids and Us Dopes

Uncle Joe was no NHS member himself, but he knew what smart kids can do . . .and how nasty they can be.

I have been hearing about bitcoins, a new cyber-medium-of-exchange, for months without taxing my old brain-pan too much - not unlike the attention I paid to Father Reinhardt Poetzinger, O.S.A. during my 'gentleman's D' engagement with hard science in 1968.   I nod my visceral grasp of the topic and imply "Do go on."
.
That is until I am tested and challenged.

I read up on bitcoins and now know . . .absolutely nothing. I even went to Bitcoins for Dummiers.  The example given to this five year old equates the giving of an apple to me, by a hypothetical Dude, sitting on park bench . . .Eyeing Little Girls With Bad Intent . . .sorry, that is how this old think muscle works . . .HEY, AQUALUNG!!!!!!!!!

Back to it.  The explanation goes on to suppose that the imagined gifting of said apple had taken place.

The apple’s yours!(mine)  I can’t give you another apple because I don’t have any left. I can’t control it anymore. The apple left my possession completely. You have full control over that apple now. You can give it to your friend if you want, and then that friend can give it to his friend, and so on.

So that’s what an in-person exchange looks like. I guess it’s really the same, whether I’m giving you a banana, a book, a quarter, or a dollar bill …

But I’m getting ahead of myself.

Oh, Heaven Forefend!

Now, let’s say I have one digital apple. Here, I’ll give you my digital apple.

 A digital apple?  They make them?

Ah! Now it gets interesting.
How do you know that digital apple which used to be mine, is now yours, and only yours? Think about it for a second. It’s more complicated, right? How do you know that I didn’t send that apple to Uncle Tommy as an email attachment first? Or your friend Joe? Or my friend Lisa too?
Maybe I made a couple of copies of that digital apple on my computer. Maybe I put it up on the internet and one million people downloaded it.
As you see, this digital exchange is a bit of a problem. Sending digital apples doesn’t look like sending physical apples.

A bit?   A digital apple?  They make them?

Some brainy computer scientists actually have a name for this problem: it’s called the double-spending problem. But don’t worry about it. All you need to know is that it’s confused them for quite some time and they’ve never solved it. Until now.
But let’s try to think of a solution on our own.

Double spending defeated in one swell foop~! So virtual usury is avoided? No!!!!!!!!!!!!  Mr. Smart guy goes on about virtual ledgers that track gifted digital apples.  I learn that I could be rewarded by as many as twenty-five digital apples!  I could be!  I could be in the starting line-up for tonight's game in he Cross-town Beat-down of the White Sox over the Lovable Losers!  I could be squiring around an SAS team of blond-goddess stewardesses with the toothsome sirens springing for my Surf & Turf at Benny's Chop-House!

I could understand this new economic Ponzi scam as much as I did Green Credits that have all but gone deep into the outhouse well.  I could. . .but I sure @#$%ing Do Not!!!!!

• Bitcoins are now allowable for Political Action Committee donations!
• Notorious 23 year old Dutch Dope Slinger Cornelius Jan " Super Trips" Slomp was convicted in a Chicago court and awaits sentencing for using bit-coins in exchange for gifts of dope.   

I do know that Green Credits somehow have caused my ComED Bill to rocket up another 38% via Save Our Planet Usury!

I do know that if Bitcoins can make a Dutch Kid a Sho'Nuff Gangstah, they can help Barack Obama's handlers manage to make America the oligarchy Progressives demand.

Smart kids are tyrannical little turds.  I speak as a high school teacher of long and vast experience.  I had more headaches and heartbreaks due to NHS facsists and their parents - " Seth should NOT have gotten a mere B+ - spelling is so judgmental; Doncha Think?"  No. Smart kids took home glittering prizes, but did and could not deign to be in a school play, do community service, wrestle, play volleyball, or hit the blocking sleds during Dog Days in August.  They worked on their GPAs.

Now, they do unto us.