When Barry Met Willard -" One Never Knows, Do One?"

I was watching the news last night and caught President Obama's assessment of the previous night's debate.

President Obama told a crowd in Denver on Thursday that he barely recognized the “spirited fellow who claimed to be Mitt Romney” at the debate the night before.
“It could not have been Mitt Romney because the real Mitt Romney has been running around the country for the last year promising $5 trillion in tax cuts that favor the wealthy,” Obama said. “The fellow on stage last night said he didn’t know anything about that.”
He continued with the riff: 

I can well understand the President's frustration.  Much like a child who has come to understand that a corpulent and hoary whiskered denizen of the Arctic Circle, given to festive red and smartly furred habiliments, does not, in fact, jet the stratosphere in a 19th century winter-conveyance, fueled by an octet of Rangifer tarandii each winter's Yuletide in order to deposit youthful plunder for Good Boys and Girls, President Obama really believes in the Willard Mitt Romney created by Marilyn Katz, the Daves (Axelrod & Plouffe) Planned Parenthood, SEIU, Sandy Fluke and offered wholesale on MSNBC.

Yes, Mr. President, there is a Mitt Romney, but he is a product of minds like the one's owned by Debbie Wasserman-Schultz and Big Ed Schultz. The Mitt Romney on stage is the Mitt Romney that they never told you about and he is the one who made you very, very sad the other night. I imagine your confusion, young fella - "Coal???? Nobody said anything about coal?  This guy loves coal, too. Isn't that a stocking stuffer for evil rich dudes and racist hillbillies and Catholics? You people told me Mormons had Harems!~!" 

There, there.

The President Obama that I know is the disappointed little chap who walked away from the podium wondering just what the Hell had happened.