Caitlin-O'Soith -Bar Joseph - The Wife of Jesus for Cook County Judge

 


"Jesus said to them, 'My wife… ( the papyrus continues)  . . .  My Wife Is a stone-bitch! A  thick-ankled Xanthippe, shrill, nagging, opinionated, cold, nasty, humorless,  hyphenated Irish bitch!  Get me to Pilate, ASAP.  The Cross is looking comfy."   Gospel




Hi!  Thank you, Women!  . . . And the few evolved men.

 I'm Caitlin O'Soith- Bar-Joseph and my husband is proud union carpenter and faith-based community activist. We,  Jesus, or Josh as I call him, well in truth I have decided not to have any biological children and rather consider all of you our children. He's Jewish and I'm, well you know, Irish!  Bridget Loves Bernie goin' on!

I am running for Cook County Judge of Everything -It is time for Josh to step out of the shadows of my father-in-law Yaweh.  He's a dear, dear man but hopelessly Old Testament and believes he knows everything!

You ladies know exactly what I am talking about - (chants and chirps) Obey! lay down and do exactly what I say/Obey! lay down and o exactly what I say!

Cheerleading Camp is over girls! Our bodies are our own!

I know my husband has evolved! We are co-equals and exactly the same! I am a strict  “abolish women”  Feminist Catholic Woman!  Ask my husband!  Go er Mother, . . .I hate that word! husband - breeding; think about it and wife -in the proto-German wībam, or woman, but rooted ( another male priapism) in Indo-European root ghwībh- "shame; pudenda" with of its clearly sexual stigma.

 I went to Mundelein - yes, I am a Mundle Bundle-, but I am also a Georgetown Law grad and partner in the all WOMAN law firm of Noball, Payne and Leach.  We are here ladies! That is My Gospel for today!

I asked Josh to be with me here today but he and his boyfriends are fishing.  Whenever real issues  like ordination of women and LGBTQ hegemony come up, it's " I must be about My Father's Work!" Then it is off to Sea of Galillee for a walk on the Lake; take Mother to Wedding's and do the wine trick, or Sermons on the Mounts, or tenting with Pete, John and Andrew and Elijah and Moses, visit Hairy-backed John the locust eater in Prison, forgive sluts. . .Oh, don't get me started about donkey rides!

While He's away, let's empower us!  His father and the bird are supposed to be watching, but I don't see them, girls.

I have been endorsed by the Illinois Progressive Alliance, Planned Parenthood's Illinois Personal PAC, Governor Pat Quinn who is as much of a woman as I am . . .let's give it for Quinn, Women! . . .Deb Mel, Deb Shore, the Chicago Tribune, the Chicago Sun Times, Call to Action, Rainbow Sash, and Voice of the Faithful.

I was discovered by Harvard Feminist Scholar - Karen King! This could never be a hoax! I am no Shroud of Turin!

I'll be the judge! I judge everything!  Hear ME roar!

http://www.chicagotribune.com/news/opinion/ct-perspec-0920-wife-20120920,0,2451217.story

 http://www.chicagotribune.com/news/opinion/ct-perspec-0920-wife-20120920,0,2451217.story