President Obama's Saturday Address

Good morning, and thank you for joining me. Many of you in this room are my friends. Many of you in this room know me. Many of you have cheered for me or you’ve worked with me or you’ve supported me.

Now every one of you has good reason to be critical of me. I want to say to each of you, simply and directly, I am deeply sorry for my irresponsible and selfish behavior I engaged in.

. . .( pause) I am also aware of the pain my behavior has caused to those of you in this room. I have let you down, and I have let down my fans. For many of you, especially my friends, my behavior has been a personal disappointment. To those of you who work for me, I have let you down personally and professionally. My behavior has caused considerable worry to my business partners. . . (pause -Manly Stare) . . But still, I know I have bitterly disappointed all of you. I have made you question who I am and how I could have done the things I did. I am embarrassed that I have put you in this position. . . .( Pause -Winsome smile) . . . I’ve had a lot of time to think about what I’ve done. My failures have made me look at myself in a way I never wanted to before. It’s now up to me to make amends, and that starts by never repeating the mistakes I’ve made. It’s up to me to start living a life of integrity. . . .( pause -Heroic toss of the Head) . . . I have a lot of work to do, and I intend to dedicate myself to doing it. Part of following this path for me is Buddhism, the Dalai was here Thursday. . .nice guy . . . Buddhism teaches that a craving for things outside ourselves causes an unhappy and pointless search for security. It teaches me to stop following every impulse and to learn restraint. Obviously I lost track of what I was taught. The Dalai was here you know.

As I move forward, I will continue to receive help because I’ve learned that’s how people really do change. Starting tomorrow, . . . maybe not . . .

Finally, there are many people in this room, and there are many people at home who believed in me. Today I want to ask for your help. I ask you to find room in your heart to one day believe in me again.

Thank you. Gibbs, is this thing on?

Most of the text of this fictional address and more can be read by clicking on my post title. God, I love to cut and paste! I gotta stop eating the stuff . . .playing hell on my old teeth.