MSNBC - Keith Olbermann - Borrow A Pair

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Hi C? Nope. Capri Sun? Damn tasty! Keith Olbermann? Now, your talking Margaret! America's Number One Juice Bag!

Keith, borrow a pair from your twin, my God! Last night's laugh track snit about George Stephanapoulos asking pointed questions of Kid Hope on Tuesday Night was a hoot.

Borrow a pair, not glasses you had them on for effect, something most guys have and know what their for - no not cuff-links.

Here, Juice Bag ( You are # 1. Absolute and Undisputed), let me explain things to you - not that you'll read this, but rather for my three readers who cling to their faith in my rock-solid support for core American values, tasty back ribs, Green River Lime Soda, University of Chicago Football, the intrinsic goodness of most American and the need to pull the pants down on loud-mouth phonies - like most of the crew at MSNBC.

I fear no man, but Rachel Maddow scares the bejabbers out of me - she's got a neck on her John Matuszak, in robust good health, and could probably pop a pour spout into a big can of Quaker State faster than Janet Guthrie in the old days. Keith, keep a leash on your twin. That was some great commercial back in the 1970's, Janet Guthrie, the race car Driver (pre-NASCAR) probably had muscles in her poop, for Crissakes.

Now, to the facts:

1. John McCain's sins, which are blacker than a wad of chewed old Black Jack Gum spit on a roasting Chicago blacktop roof in August, are out in Full Public View.

2. Everyone, but my 18 year old son, who can recite the entire NFL roster including taxi-squads, knows about them. Wikipedia has them all; McCain wrote about them himself - we got it. Barack? All first time issues for Americans.

3. Barack Obama has allowed his Campaign to do what John Kerry's Campaign did - they made him unelectable - oh, he'll win the Democratic Nomination barring any new revelations before Tuesday's Pennsylvania Primary - by the majority of Americans, because he has fruitcakes like you, Rachel, Catholic Hater Bill Maher, Kid Nepotism Dan Abrams of The Tool Shed MSNBC, Arianna Huffington and her Hollywood Squares shilling for him.

4. John McCain is one of us. He's an American. A good guy - and that is what is alien to you sponge cakes. We do not give a fat rat's ass about his sins, peccadillo's, temper, associations or wardrobe, because we already know him. He is out in the full public eye.

5. Barack Obama - Barry We Hardly Knew Ye, is another tale of a far different cat and what we are learning about Barack deserves great scrutiny.

6. John McCain will win in November by the largest margin of any President in modern times. Stay tuned, but have someone who works for a living explain it you.

7. You are coming unglued, boy - Not that I give full, furious, flatulent firestorm.

8. Borrow a pair, like I said. Marbles. Practice, Practice, Practice and you might hit something. Try not to lose them . . . too late!