Nothing says the Holidays like the diet of ripping yarns and cautionary tales that gives all of us sinners lessons that might have been gleaned from good living - to supplement all of those artery clogging goodies that we tend to put away in this Season of Giving. Takers are historically good offal and fat to fire into the Plum Puddings - Scrooge, Mr. Potter, crabby little girls who don't buy the Santa Story. Reading the papers and watching the news on TV often undermines our common sense of decency and courtesy. Public figures often give us commoners the very meat upon which to build a banquet of wholesome and toothy truths. Today, I would like to offer another bite out of what I like to call my Mike Quigley pantry of knee-slappers - they are tastey but wholesome fare!
Cook County Commissioner Mike Quigley, The Uriah Heep of Illinois Politics boarded an airplane in New Orleans, with a box
of crabs.
A lovely female crew member took the box and promised to put
it in the crew's refrigerator, which she did.
The Napoleon of Reform, pulled himself to his fullest height, stared directly into the Flight Attendant's knees and firmly advised her that he, Cook County Commissioner Mike Quigley, was holding her personally responsible for the crabs staying frozen,and proceeded to rant and rave about what would happen if she let the crabs thaw out.
Shortly before landing at O'Hare, the thoughtful Flight Service Professional announced to the entire cabin, 'Would the gentleman who gave me the
crabs in New Orleans, please raise your hand?'
Not one hand went up. So she took them home and ate
them herself. Mike Quigley never learns but that never stops him.
I wish to thank the estimable Frank Nofsinger of Connecticut for the roue of this crab bisque.
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