TENJOOBERRYMUDDS! -A Pan-lingual Epiphany

Subject: TENJOOBERRYMUDS

'What we have here . . .is failure to communicate.'


I get about five calls a week that go something like this. Tear ass to phone -not exactly a threat to 200 meter record, mind you, I pick up the phone

ME: Hello. (long pause ) Hello!?!?! (pause) It's your dime - start talking

Caller: EES PAHTREEK Dere. PAHTREEK ? (Bollywood Spy Theme music in background)

Me:No one ever good news-ed me with Patrick , but yes . . .

Caller:PAHTREEK - DESE EES BRY UHN FREM MAHJESTIC SIDING EN OCH - LOAN EEL-ENOY . . .

Me: No Sale, Bub! Brickhouse - Like Jack. Vale te, Bryo!(click)

When worlds collide through Out-sourced labor! Hire American Telemarketers!
What the hell, Bryan's an earner. Back to communications - this is reading like a Noam Chomsky dinner order.

Patriot, Scrimshander, American Flag votary, grubstaker, dedicated turn-signal practitioner, fiery dualist, and venture capitalist, Mr. Frank Nofsinger of Connecticut sent along the multicultual epiphany posted below:


We have all been here . . .

Or maybe you haven't called tech support recently?





By the time you read through this YOU WILL UNDERSTAND TENJOOBERRYMUDS...

In order to continue getting-by in America (our home land), we all need to learn the NEW English language! Practice by reading the following
conversation until you are able to understand the term
"TENJOOBERRYMUDS".

With a little patience, you'll be able to fit right in with the growing trend!!!
Now, here goes...

The following is a telephone exchange between a hotel guest and
room-service:

Room Service (RS): "Morrin. Roon sirbees."

Guest (G): "Sorry, I thought I dialed room-service."

RS: " Rye Roon sirbees...morrin! Joowish to oddor sunteen???"

G: "Uh..... Yes, I'd like to order bacon and eggs."

RS: "Ow July den?"

G: ".....What??"

RS: "Ow July den?!?... pryed, boyud, poochd?"

G: "Oh, the eggs! How do I like them? Sorry... scrambled, please."

RS: "Ow July dee baykem? Crease?"

G: "Crisp will be fine."

RS: "Hokay. An Sahn toes?"

G: "What?"

RS: "An toes. July Sahn toes?"

G: "I... don't think so."

RS: "No? Judo wan sahn toes???"

G: "I feel really bad about this, but I don't know what 'judo wan sahn
toes' means."

RS: "Toes! Toes!..Why Joo don Juan toes? Ow bow Anglish moppin we
bodder?"

G: "Oh, English muffin!!! I've got it! You were saying 'toast'... Fine...Yes, an English muffin will be fine."

RS: "We bodder?"

G: "No, just put the bodder on the side."

RS: "Wad?!?"

G: "I mean butter... just put the butter on the side."

RS: "Copy?"

G: "Excuse me?"

RS: "Copy...tea...meel?"

G: "Yes. Coffee, please... and that's everything."

RS: "One Minnie. Scramah egg, crease baykem, Anglish moppin, we bodder on sigh and copy... rye??"

G: "Whatever you say."

RS: "Tenjooberrymuds."

G: "You're welcome."