Monday, April 25, 2011

Secular Cohabitation Vows - No Bands, No Ties, No Biggie, No Hokey-Pokey, Whatever!


Hat tip from Regular Guy!

I listened to a tweedy academic explain that marriage is as outmoded as spats, or something like that and I kept my mouth shut. Must have been all the Rhino tranquillizer that my Love slipped into my soda water. The guy blinked about three times during his five minute discourse on marriage, religion, intolerance, and Pope Benedict. He argued that cohabitation is the only civilized conjugal arrangement.



Marriage works in my neighborhood. It might not work everywhere. Who's to say?

Gravity works in my neighborhood. It does not work in controlled upper -stratospheric environments, like big NASA airplanes, or up in outer space. Who's to say.

We are as God made us works in my neighborhood with certain theological and moral modifications. Atheists are as the Big Bang made them. Who's to say.

Sunday, April 24, 2011

Sacred Heart Easter Mass, Crying Babies and Creepy Easter Bunnies


Clare and I just returned from Mass at Sacred Heart Church tucked in a tough neighborhood hinterland between Morgan Park and Washington Heights at 116th & Church Street.

For my trio of readers, Sacred Heart Church is my house of worship, though I live in St. Cajetan Parish. Sacred Heart is an old French Mission Church that was saved from Cardinal Bernardin's wrecking ball years ago, thanks to Father Veder and the many people who worship and support this gem of humility, simplicity, and traditional Catholic worship in Chicago.

Sacred Heart is served by Father Flynn and a cadre of great priests like Fathers McKenna and Gallagher. Father McKenna is a classically trained musician. Father Gallagher spent most of his life as a missionary in Mexico. Father Gallgher is, in my opinion, the best homilist I have ever listened to - I have heard many homilists and listened to very few.

Father Gallagher springs out of the Gospel. He is in his late seventies and beset by rusty joints and struggles up the almost vertical stairs to the chapel itself. No set-backs or stumbles once the man bows at the altar - he is spiritually athletic. He springs out of the Gospel with words that actually connect with the people in pews - the Church: cops, firemen, teachers, lawyers, radio hosts, City workers, housewives and many, many, many babies and toddlers -today in particular.

I love watching the little guys (gender neutral) at Mass - duked up in a sharp vest and maybe a man-guy tie; gorgeously turned out little heart-breakers in white anklettes, purses and straw bonnets with white prayer books, or kid friendly rosaries; toddlers with zip-lock bags of Capt. Crunch or more wholesome treats. There is no crying room at Sacred Heart, but plenty of room for crying. Today, the wee-ones matched the Baritone Boom-Box Voxed Terry McEldowney at Pange Lingua and Panis Angelicus. The Wave of Toddler Outrage swept the Church sinister et dextra from Virgin Mary side to St. Joseph and back and seemed to be rooted in the stuffed Easter Bunnies dropped in the pew behind, or in the chubby mitts of peers some rows removed. The rolling wave of infantile thunder Tsunamied to me and Clare as Communion got under way. The noise was exquisite.

Easter Bunnies! Easter bunnies were pointed to, recoiled from, tossed, or clutched amid wailing and gnashing of gums!

Easter bunnies always creeped me out, too.



Clare was freaked out by a surprise visit from Chip and Dale at Disney world when she was two and a half. From two-through six years of age, Clare remained in mortal horror of anyone in costume -Chip, or Dale, Sylvester or Tweety, Bugs or Buss Lightyear, Clowns or Mimes ( the girl always had great sense) any costumed counterfeit character set her lungs on fire and her chubby cheeks contorted and cascading with tears.

We came home and I found a link to Daily Caller's great article by Ms. Alyssa Moody -The Creepiest Easter Bunnies

Those ears. Those teeth. That frozen, menacing smile. It’s no wonder children often scream in fear and flee from this frightening furry character, better known as the Easter Bunny. The holiday may be nice for those celebrating, but bunnies don’t always heighten the experience in a positive way. If you’ve ever encountered a scary bunny, you’ll recognize the pain of the poor souls below. Enjoy these pictures of the creepiest bunnies in the bunch and be sure to avoid sketchy Easter rabbits during all future Easter egg hunts!
Click my post title for more really creepy Easter Bunnies.

Father Gallagher placed baskets of candy (red licorice for the bigger greyer babies) in vestibule. Things quieted nicely. Easter is all about the Joy that follows the Tears.

Christ is Risen! Our Moveable Feast is Constant


I listened to a talk on radio that considered the starting date of Easter* back about 4,000 years ago. This chat was a raction to the kiddie movie Hop, meant to sell product, toys, DVDs, and games as well as secularize a religious observance - nothing new here.

Easter began in Roman Occupied Palestine during the reign of Tiberius Caesar some time between AD 26-36 - the Sunday following the Friday Crucifixion. Christ Rose from the dead after He harrowed Hell on Saturday. Easter is the advent of faith.

Millions of Christians worship God through the Risen Christ, Son of God.

Some people who were brought up in the faith no longer accept that. They tend to be loud and public and political. That's okay. The early Christians were loud and public and political. The big difference is that the later day atheists, Wiccans, Solar Power Adventists and since Jacob Grimm in the 19th century Ostarans, are not fed to lions, nailed to the cross, beheaded -except in Islamist happy nations -or stoned to death - except in Islamist happy nations. The secular apoptles have their 'feelings hurt.' In our Seseame Street Sweet PC dystopia feelings are every thing.

Christ Rose after Dying for my sins. I am going to Mass at Sacred Heart with my daughter Ckare. Happy Easter! Christ is Risen!


*

The Council of Nicaea (A.D. 325) set the date of Easter as the Sunday following the paschal full moon, which is the full moon that falls on or after the vernal (spring) equinox.

While Western Christians use the Gregorian calendar (the calendar that's used throughout the West today, in both the secular and religious worlds) to calculate the date of Easter, the Eastern Orthodox continue to use the older, astronomically inaccurate Julian calendar. Currently, March 21 on the Julian calendar falls on April 3 in the Gregorian calendar. Therefore, for the Orthodox, the Sunday following the 14th day of the paschal full moon has to fall after April 3, hence the discrepancy in the date of Easter.

Saturday, April 23, 2011

The American Isis OPRAH? - Yale Scholar Asks Her Own Answers

Oprah is Huge! No doubt. However, a Religious Icon?

A Yale Prof wrote a monograph -soon on bookshelves everywhere (but not at Borders on 95th Street, because it closed) - arguing that Oprah is a religious icon. Get this treacle:

Yale professor Kathryn Lofton has written a book about Oprah Winfrey as a religious icon. Lofton compares the media mogul's speech patterns to those of southern preachers and believes she employs a sermon-like structure to each show. She tells the New York Post: "Gospel is a word that means 'good news.' Oprah says that the good news is you."
My Turn!


Yale's Kathryn Lofton* -A Few Eggs Shy of an Easter Basket?

Ripped from Professor Kathryn Lofton's page at Yale - Prof Lofton's rigorous pedagogy.

Q. How does the scholar name the religious?

Me: A as Q. The Religious What?

How do scholars and students determine the history and meanings of religions within the political and social histories of the United States?

Me: A as Q. Badly?


Q.How do we understand these histories in the light of concepts of the secular, the modern West, or modernity?

Me: A as Q. In sweet words of the Apostles et al. to Jesus on Ascension Thursday, 'Come Again?'

Q. What are the relationships between consumer activity and religious identity or between sexual and religious practices?

Me: A as Q. Oprah? . . .Mother Earth? Wait, wait don't tell me!! Murial Abbot? No, Nancy Kulp! Oprah?

At Yale, Professor Lofton teaches courses that seek to answer these questions of history simultaneously with those of social science classification and cultural studies.
No box scores?


Oprah - Seat of Wisdom? Nah.

And yet Yale is a preeminent American Seat of Learning. Happy Easter!


*
KATHRYN LOFTON
Department of Religious Studies
P.O. Box 208287
New Haven, CT 06520-8287
(203) 432-0836
e-mail kathryn.lofton@yale.edu
EMPLOYMENT
2009 - Assistant Professor of American Studies and Religious Studies, Yale University
courtesy appointments in the Department of History and Yale Divinity School
2008 - 2009 Associate Research Scholar, Center for the Study of Religion, Princeton University
2006 - 2008 Assistant Professor of American Studies and Religious Studies, Indiana University

2005 - 2006 Visiting Professor of Religion and Humanities, Reed College
EDUCATION
2005 Ph.D., Religious Studies, University of North Carolina at Chapel Hill
Thesis: “Making the Modern in Religious America, 1870-1935”
2002 M.A., Religious Studies, University of North Carolina at Chapel Hill
Honors, U.S. Religious History and Religion and Culture
2000 A.B, University of Chicago
Honors, the Committee on Religion in the Humanities and the Department of History
PUBLICATIONS
Monograph
Oprah: The Gospel of an Icon (Berkeley: University of California Press, 2011)
The Modernity in Mr. Shaw: Religion and Sexuality in America (in progress)
Edited Volumes
Women’s Work: An Anthology of African-American Women’s Historical Writings from Antebellum
America to the Harlem Renaissance, co-edited with Laurie Maffly-Kipp (New York: Oxford University
Press, 2010).
Indiana Magazine of History, 105: 2 (June 2009), “Special Issue: Thomas Hart Benton’s Indiana Murals at
75,” co-edited with Matthew Guterl.

Friday, April 22, 2011

God's Friday - The Death of the Widow's Son and the Sins of Man


Mary, Mother of God, witnessed the torments and torture of her Son, the long agonizing march up Calvary, the nailing of His Hands and Feet to the Cross by tough Roman legionaries, the scorn and derrision of the mocking crowd, His forgiveness of a the Zealot Dismas and all of us and the offering of the spirit that is Life to His Father.

Mary the Widow stood at the foot of the cross - Stabat Mater.



Pergolisi* seemed to get the whole context of the anguish and heroic devotion of the Mother of Our Church.

Today is Good Friday - the Long Friday in the Anglo-Saxon tradition - and though Easter in three days marks the foundation of our Faith, that the Risen Christ is promise of God's Love fulfilled, it seems that the Widow, Mary's stand really tells us what faith demands.


*

Giovanni Battista Pergolesi (1710 - 1736) was born in Jesi, Italy. His name became known thanks to his comic opera La Serva Padrone. He was slightly handicapped and had a weak constitution. He probably died of tuberculosis. A lot of confusion exists about which works Pergolesi did or did not compose. As his work came more and more in demand, some publishers tried to make a little extra by taking an anonymous composition and attaching the name of Pergolesi to it. However, about the Stabat Mater there is no doubt. It is known that in his early years he composed a Stabat Mater in A minor.
Probably the Stabat Mater in C minor was Pergolesi's last composition. The commission for this work was given by the same Order in Naples for which Alessandro Scarlatti 20 years earlier had composed a Stabat Mater. Though the score of the compositions is almost identical, the melodic lines of Pergolesi are more sentimental and highly ornamented.The piece was widely acclaimed and it seems to have inspired many composers to imitate, paraphrase and adapt (see Brunetti, de Nardis and Paisiello). Joseph Eybler (1764 - 1846), who was a friend of Mozart and who became Court Kapellmeister in Vienna after Antonio Salieri, added a choir to replace some of the duets, and extended the orchestra. Others were John Adam Hiller/Johann Adam Hüller (1728 - 1804) and Alexy Fyodorovich L'vov (ca. 1830). The musical setting of Psalm 51 "Tilge, Höchster, meine Sünden" of the great Johann Sebastian is another example.

Thursday, April 21, 2011

Eder Cruz - Leo High School 2011 - Gates Millenium Scholar

Eder Cruz Leo Man 2011 in the center - he's the Mexican American gent - Leo's Gates Millenium Scholar!


Eder Cruz came to Leo High School from Cristo Rey High School. He was the only Mexican (Hispanic) student at Leo, until this year. Eder was welcomed by his fellow Lions and mentored by Mrs. Aurora Latifi and Ms. Margerita Silva. Mrs. Latifi is an Albanian immigrant and Ms. Silva a proud Latina. Eder Cruz immediately established himself as a leader and a scholar.

Eder Cruz is also a Gates Millenium Scholar. Mrs. Latifi nominated the young man who has been accepted at Marquette University and many others. Eder may use this scholship at Valparaiso University, Marquette University, Iowa State, St. Louis University, Bradley University, University of Alcorn, University of Illinois at Urbana-Champaign and Hope College. President Dan McGrath will insist upon another Leo Man at his Alma Mater - Marquette University.

Click my post title for the Leo High School Oriole and more college success tales from the Lions.

But first Mr. Eder Cruz, Leo Class of 2011!

Mr. Eder Anibal Cruz Alvarado
5#$% South Campbell
Chicago, IL 606$%


Dear Eder,

Congratulations! We are very pleased to inform you of your selection as one of the 1,000 Gates Millennium Scholars for the GMS Class of 2011. We commend you on your strong leadership, community service and academic achievements that contributed to your selection as a Gates Millennium Scholar. Your accomplishment is especially notable in context of the more than 23,000 students who applied, making this year's the largest and most competitive group of candidates in the program's history. We are very excited to have you as a Gates Scholar and very pleased to confer this distinct honor that distinguishes you as a Leader for America's Future(tm).

As a Gates Millennium Scholar, GMS funds are available for you to attend any U.S. accredited* college or university of your choice. This is a renewable scholarship based on the GMS Program guidelines. The documents you will submit throughout your undergraduate career will guide GMS' review and determination of a new scholarship amount for each year you are eligible. In addition, if you pursue graduate studies in the fields of Computer Science, Education, Engineering, Library Science, Mathematics, Public Health or Science, you may be eligible for GMS fellowship funding for your education through the master's and doctoral levels.

In order to determine the amount of your 2011-2012 academic year GMS award, please send us the following documents:

* your admissions letter from the institution you will be attending (if you have chosen an institution other than the one previously submitted),
* the enclosed GMS Information Sheet completed by your financial aid counselor, and
* your financial aid award letter from the same institution as the admissions letter you submitted for the institution you will be attending.

Please send these documents as soon as possible, but no later than the June 20, 2011 priority due date. Remember, a scholarship award cannot be determined until you submit all the documents listed above from the institution you will attend during the 2011-2012 academic year.

In addition, for all Scholars who are currently high school seniors, we will request an official copy of your final transcript from your high school showing your final grades and graduation date. Your scholarship award will not be mailed to the college/university you will attend until we receive your final transcript.

The GMS program is much more than a scholarship. GMS' Leadership and Scholar Relations program offers Academic Empowerment services (ACE) to support your academic success and graduate education planning. In addition, we provide a wide range of resources including a GMS leadership conference specifically designed to orient and prepare you to maximize your GMS experience, a mentoring program and an online resource center that gives you access to internships, fellowships and other scholarships.

Please review the documents included with this letter as they will provide you with an overview of many of the GMS initiatives. Should you have any questions about GMS or your scholarship, please do not hesitate to contact us at 415-808-2410 or via e-mail at gmsinfo@hsf.net.

Again, congratulations on being selected for this distinguished award. Be sure to also thank your Nominator and Recommender for their support and confidence in your potential.

Sincerely,


Cathy Makunga
Vice President of Scholarship Programs, HSF
Gates Millennium Scholars Program


Thousands of Leo Men are Proud of You Eder! Fact Non Verba !

Beverly Review's Great Coverage of Tom Zbikowski's Leo Boxing Workout!



The Beverly Review is a great neighborhood newspaper. Local School news and sports are especially well covered. Last week, NFL Star Tom Zbikowski of the Baltimore Ravens returned to the second floor boxing gym at Leo High School for an open workout that was also recorded by the NFL Network for an upcoming feature.

Tommy Z has been a familiar fixture around the halls of Leo, having worked out and sparred with Leo Boxers for years.

Much thanks to the great staff of the Beverly Review! Pick up a print copy at County Fair or Kean Gas here in the Hood or, better yet subscribe on line - click my post title for The Beverly Review

by Scott Fredericks

National Football League (NFL) players are accustomed to attending spring mini camps at this time of the year, but with the NFL in the midst of a lockout, most players are looking for something else to do.

That wasn’t a problem for Baltimore Ravens safety and former Notre Dame University star Tom Zbikowski, who has resumed his pro boxing career.

Zbikowski stopped at Leo High School for a workout on April 15 in preparation for his next fight and also to help promote Leo Boxing Night, which will raise money for the Officer Eric Lee Scholarship Fund. He’s enthusiastic about being in the ring.

“The opportunity was there, so I had to take it. I’ve been watching the sport closely for the last few years waiting to get back in,” said Zbikowski, who started six games and recorded 19 tackles before suffering a shoulder injury last season. “It’s been a lot of fun, and nobody will be in better shape than me when football comes back. Every time I’ve done serious boxing after football, I’ve had my best seasons. You know the season’s going to happen, it’s just a matter of when the lockout ends.

“Boxing always made me a better football player. When you go into a fight, everything has to be working together with the footwork and balance. Those are the attributes you need to have on the football field as a defensive back.”

Zbikowski isn’t just another athlete giving a different sport a try. He has excelled in the ring since he was young. Zbikowski competed in 90 amateur fights, posting a 75- 15 record in those bouts.

Zbikowski turned pro in 2006 when he was still at Notre Dame. He received permission from the NCAA to compete in a pro boxing match. Zbikowski needed only 49 seconds to dismantle Robert Bell in his first professional fight at Madison Square Garden.

“I didn’t play football 365 days a year when I was younger,” said Zbikowski. “As an athlete, you always had other sports to play. There is nothing like being on the football field on Sundays, and there are no words to describe what it feels like to get in the ring. I want this to last as long as I can.”

Zbikowski is getting his money’s worth during the lockout. He has posted a pair of victories already and has three more fights scheduled in the next three months, including a bout against Blake Warner in Las Vegas on April 23.

Legendary trainer Emmanuel Steward is working with the talented two-sport star. Zbikowski said that experience has been a thrill.

“As soon as I walk in, we just start working, and you can see why he is the best,” said Zbikowski. “This dude has a rhythm, and he knows how to get the best. He’s going to take what the fighter has and make you better. He won’t change anything, but he will find things that work.”

Mike Joyce, Zbikowski’s manager and the Leo High School boxing coach, said Zbikowski has been an avid supporter of the Leo football and boxing programs, donating money and equipment to both sports.

Joyce also said he thinks Zbikowski could be one of boxing’s best if boxing were his main focus.

“If he was boxing full time, I think he’d go all the way,” said Joyce. “He’s been fighting since he was 9 years old. He has some ring rust from being away from the ring so long, but he has all the tools.”

Joyce said the Leo Boxing Night will be held at 115 Bourbon Street, 3359 W. 115th St., in Merrionette Park, on May 10 at 7 p.m. Proceeds will go to the Eric Lee Memorial Scholarship Foundation. Lee, a Chicago Police officer, was a 1981 graduate of the school who was gunned down in the line of duty.

For tickets or more information, contact Joyce at (708) 227-8425.


This is part of the April 20, 2011 online edition of The Beverly Review.

Wednesday, April 20, 2011

Obama 2012 Jettisons Catholic Demographic - When You Got Planned Parenthood, Why Bother With Mackeral Snappers?

Obama White House Thanks Ambassador Doug Kmiec for Parsing Planned Parenthood to Catholics in 2008.

Huge Hat Tip to www. Sancte Pater.comDoug Kmiec is a Catholic scholar who side-stepped Barack Obama's fealty to Planned Parenthood in the 2008 Presidential Campaign and parsed approval of Obama. Doug Kmiec was rewarded with an Ambassadorship to Malta. Doug Kmiec was given the heave-ho by the Obama/Clinton State Department last week when both got tired of Doug Kmiec's religious talks, chats and lectures.

President Obama is a secularist-christian who is beholden to Services Employee International Union (SEIU) and Planned Parenthood, Inc. has millions of devoted and like-minded folks ready to toss down their votes. Catholics - are we really a demographic anymore? We are so diverse! The only Catholics that get mention in the media are pedaphile priests, SNAP activists, renegade nuns, Martin Sheen and Hugo Chavez.

Don't Reagan Democrats who happen to be Catholics fit in with the SEIU -blue collar Walker, Tea Party hating tom-tom thumpers that MSNBC always touts? Aren't Joe Biden Democrats, who play at blue collar, already in the Planned Parenthood tent already? That tent even holds Catholic Bishops like Mahoney of LA and others who think that Choice Matters.

Doug Kmiec was hotly plucked plumb in 2008, because Doug parsed a bunch and helped Obama cover-up the Crucifixes at Georgetown and promote Planned Parenthood at Notre Dame. Adios, Doc!Catholics? We Don't Need No Stinking Catholics! We got the Hispanic Demographic. We got Gay Lesbian Transgender Bisexual and questioning Victims of Bullying Baptized as Catholics.

I can almost hear Comb Over Dave Axelrod and Dave Plouffe Tweet and Texting Thumbs akimbo

Doug Kmiec, thanks for the help in 2008! Now, shut up and get lost!

Spy Wednesday - Judas, Gets His Close-up.


Oh-oh-oh-ohoo
I'm in love with Juda-as, Juda-as

Oh-oh-oh-ohoo
I'm in love with Juda-as, Juda-as

Judas Juda-a-a, Judas Juda-a-a, Judas Juda-a-a, Judas GaGa
Judas Juda-a-a, Judas Juda-a-a, Judas Juda-a-a, Judas GaGa

[Lady Gaga - Verse 1]
When he comes to me, I am ready
I'll wash his feet with my hair if he needs
Forgive him when his tongue lies through his brain
Even after three times, he betrays me
Lady Gaga's Judas

I been to three County Fairs and eight hog-call contests, but Lady Gaga still amazes me. She's the twist that wears meat and sings. Back in the day there was Johnny Ray, Tiny Tim, Nervous Norvis, and other goofballs who got attention and cut some records.

I am totally unsophisticated where icons are concerned. Judas as a sexually ambiguous object of affection? Hey, Lady, whatever floats your pork chop. You got our attention; now what? . . . where was I?

Oh, yeah, Judas.

Jesus of Nazareth came from the Tribe of Judah - the first Judah, I think, sold his brother Joseph into slavery for some silver. Out of the loins, I love that OT expression, of Judah came Old King David and then the House and Family of David(see Genesis 37-38, and also Psalm 68:2-29 and Acts 1:13-20).


The betrayed and the betrayers are family and ain't that the way. It seems that at some point in our lives we play Judas at some level. We disappoint our loved ones more than we actually betray them. Some of us fall short of our duties and some of us believe that we are crucified by others. Get off the Cross!

The trick is to recognize that we all screw up, fall short, disappoint and then try and actually do something about it. If we get active, we avoid despair. Despair is as bad as it gets. Today is Spy Wednesday to us Fish Eaters. Today is Judas' big moment in the liturgical year. He rats out his cousin for silver and then hangs himself in despair.

A pal of mine sent me a link to a great site called FishEaters.com. There is a great treatment of Judas especially the Dante Inferno Canto XXXIV that presents the torment of betrayers and Judas in Particular. He is being devoured eternally by a three-headed bat.

Out of six eyes he wept and his three chins
dripped tears and drooled blood-red saliva.
With his teeth, just like a hackle
pounding flax, he champed a sinner
in each mouth, tormenting three at once.
For the one in front the gnawing was a trifle
to the clawing, for from time to time
his back was left with not a shred of skin.
'That soul up there who bears the greatest pain,'
said the master, 'is Judas Iscariot, who has
his head within and outside flails his legs.
'As for the other two, whose heads are dangling down,
Brutus is hanging from the swarthy snout --
see how he writhes and utters not a word! --
'and from the other, Cassius, so large of limb.
But night is rising in the sky. It is time
for us to leave, for we have seen it all.'


Dude! Awesome! Three-headed Bat! Had poor old drug-addled pater familias Ozzie Ozbourne paid attention in class back in the early sixties, he might have preempted Lady Gaga with whole Judas Bat shtick! Bloody 'ell!

Despair is the tree-headed bat. Christ gave us Hope. Hope gets us out of bed and in the game.

Tuesday, April 19, 2011

PC and Policy Trumps People - Gen. McCrystal and Ray


Ray is a Navy Veteran. For years he has been one of the first people I chat with during my long days. I get up at 4 AM and write. At 5 AM or a little after, I walk to Kean Gas at 111th and Talman; Ray pumps gas. Ray is always there.

A little over a year ago, Ray confronted a man attempting to rob the clerk inside the gas station/convenience store. The man pointed something in Ray's face. Ray pushed it aside and gave the guy a few clips in the chops and the would be robber scampered off to his car and burned rubber.

The robber was caught by off-duty Chicago Police Officer Johnson from the Maplewood Block who witnessed the flight of Ray's victim. The same City that paid $300,000 to a Police Superintendent who skedaddled on camera when gunfire popped in Englewood last summer, rejected Ray's and about 6,000 other applications after taking the Police Exam in December, because of some post-something mandate to Facebook some documents.

The whole thing smells dead fishy -Asian Carp sized - dead fishy. Ray did not social network? I looked on the City Police Exam Page and found no such instruction.

Here is is:

Application Information and The Hiring Process

The first step in the Chicago Police Officer employment process is a written examination. The remaining steps include a physical fitness test, drug screening, psychological test, background investigation and a medical examination. Being on the eligibility list is not an offer or guarantee of employment. It is recommended that candidates review and prepare for the physical fitness test since this phase of the hiring process comes quickly for those candidates that pass the initial written examination. Click here to view the "State of Illinois Police Officer Wellness Report or POWER test"

Click here to view some frequently asked questions regarding a Career as a Chicago Police Officer

Information of current and future Chicago Police Exams:


The last exam held was November 5, 2006. Currently, a date has not been scheduled for the next exam so at this time applications are not being accepted.

For details, visit www.cityofchicago.org/police to view the examination announcement and is also posted at www.cityofchicago.org/humanresources by clicking "Police Officer Examination" under Alerts.


Any Questions? Contact the Chicago Police Department's Recruitment Team.
Office: 312-745-5960
Email: recruitment@chicagopolice.org



https://portal.chicagopolice.org/portal/page/portal/ChicagoPolice/GET_INFORMED/InsideCPD/JoinTeamCPD

Nope. Nada. Ray asked questions. He was told - forget about it.

Ray was a Navy Firefighter. He tried to get on the Fire Department and also the Chicago Police Department. Ray took the recent CPD exam and was rejected because he failed to place all of his documents on Social Network Page. Ray is a wide awake young man and as a Navy Veteran knows how to follow orders. No such Social Network orders were given at the exam. Something seems screwy - it is the Policy Driven City of Chicago.

Chicago Police do not want a Navy Veteran who has publicly confronted a Bad Guy - the story is in the Beverly Review.

Yesterday, The Rolling Stone Policy that the Obama White House used to remove General Stanley McCrystal from combat in Afghanistan was proved to be 'dubious.' Imagine that! Rolling Stone is called into question. Only a few months ago, the commander of the USS Enterprise was removed for being bawdy. Actually, Gay activists were ginning up DADT and Gay Marriage Policy for cable and news media feasts.

Policy and PC rolls over people.

The combat deaths in Afghanistan have tripled since General McCrystal's departure. General McCrystal is working with the First Lady now.

Ray is still pumping gas. He is one tough and determined kid. He was told by Human Resources and Chicago Police Department that he has no recourse - whatsoever.

Monday, April 18, 2011

Frat Boys at Yale, Hollywood Producers, TV Pilot Jockies, Clothing Industry Need to Meet Dad.

" I'm not a Yale Man, but I can Tell Time, Me Old Son. Midnight. Later is no option. Am I right, Son? Say, I'm right! That's a Good Boy! Have fun."

Dad is the guy, that I met on many occasions. He was the guy who allowed me to escort his daughter to the Beverly Theatre, Chuck Cavellini's Buffet in Midlothian, The Four Top with Watts 103rd Street Rhythm Band at the Auditorium Theatre, various proms Longwood Academy of our Lady, Queen of Peace in Burbank, and my own at the Blackstone Hotel for Little Flower.

Dad was always politely appraising with eyes, and probing with nose to determine signs of sexual intent, or after odors of the great taste of Schlitz. " Be home by midnight or before, I gotta big tomorrow working the lock-up of Gresham - did Peggy tell you I was a cop?"

Once, I picked up a gorgeous Italian girl from River Forest, Illinois, with whom I shared a science lab bench at Loyola. Her dad was cleaning a Smith & Wesson of large caliber it appeared. " What's the Clancy Bothers? Why not catch a good show at the London House? Forget about it. Carla says you are from the south side. I got alotta cousins down there around 1755 W. 75th Place: phone number Stewart 3-1570, where Pat, Ginny, Kevin and sweet little Joanie live with you . . . and that great red bearded dog of your's Leroy. Have a great time, kids! See you soon." Now, that's a Dad what am a Dad!

I never had car trouble. Respect does not begin with Dad, but it should in the best of all possible worlds end with Dad, if decency, morality, common sense and fundamental honesty can not prevail. Respect begins with the human being who fundamently resembles your mother, sister, and aunts, but also signals a chemical and emotional reaction in males that filters sounds, words, images and impulses in an elemental and wonderful way. That is why sappy songs get sold.

Women are not at all like us thanks be to God. They are better. They are magnificent!

There have always been creeps and louses of my gender who abused and misused and frightened and threatened and deployed charm in order to have one's wicked way with a young lady.

Dad, my Dad, taught respect for women by displaying genuine affection for my mother with words, gestures, and by taking on the cooking, cleaning, diaper changing, laundry, as well as the plumbing, carpentry and furnace maintenance. Moreso, I caught the two of them 'making out' on any number of occasion, returning earlier than expected from my date.

I hate the sight of clothing ads that present young girls and boys as sexual predators, sexually ambiguous. I am no fan of TV sitcoms written by morons for imbeciles that make light of love. I am appalled by the news of the Yale Frat Boys: "No Means Yes, Yes Means Anal." that is the least objectionable chant by these privileged punks.



Sorry sweetheart, me and your Dad agree that Calvin needs a face-to-face with Dad. The ads are stupid and make perfect sense to stupid people.

Yale is getting close scrutiny by the Nanny Press and now the Nation of Cowards Justice Department. Yale is a great school that is the Alma Mater for several of my dearest friends - Vigorous and intelligent Dads themselves.

Boys are dogs, if they wish to be and the tolerant eyes of a society that bases all of its Hegalian assumptions upon " Who's to Say" as the 1st Commandment. The same society that valorizes Tupac as the new Andrew Marvell and places his idiotic utterances in the canon of literature at Yale, Brown, Harvard, Columbia and Princeton, because some loud mouth with an alphabet after his name plays the race card, is now huffing and puffing that Yale Men are sexists?

Many of those poor louts have been raised without Dads, or at best weekend Dads, I venture to say. Marriage is so . . .sexist and patriarchal and hard work.

I am blessed to live in a neighborhood that for a widower like me is a dating desert. Everyone is married and stays married - for better or worse, in sickness and in health, and until death do they part. The women are often tougher than the men, though they look like movie stars. They were Daddy's Girls and had brothers with hands like meat-hooks who started for Mt. Carmel, St. Rita, Leo and St. Lawrence. These women respected themselves and demanded the same from us knuckle-draggers. Several of those knuckle-draggers hold degrees from Yale, BTW. They sit next to their brides at Mass. At the kiss of Peace, after the Pater Noster, these men gently kiss the women who are their lives. These gentle men are Dads and not above giving a lout who speaks disrespectfully, much less lays hands on a daughter a thorough and pious tune-up.

Many of those poor Yale louts Tweet for Obama and about the MILF Sarah Palin in the most vile and unworthy ways possible. The same clown opera that is MSNBC and CNN and the networks is hand-wringing about the Yale boys, but calling Mrs. Palin and other women out of their political circles in the same manner as the Yale Men.

Louts are louts. Louts need clouts. Yet, the smarm merchants chant against violence. The Yale Men and Hollywood and the Music Industry and Calvin Klein and Snoop Yo'Dog Gangstah Sex Pimp and Abercrombie and Fitch need a good session with a Dad.

A gentle man similar in inclination to Carla's Pop . . .the huge knuckled second generation Italian-American with the comfortable home in River Forest, IL would be just the ticket.

Sunday, April 17, 2011

Palm Sunday and Wallace Stevens Welcomes the Catholic Faith


I remember a graduate school class in modern American poetry that I took at Loyola. We studied Pound,Masters,Cummings, Dickens, Eliot, Moore, Cullen, Frost, Hughes, Jarrell, Ferlinghetti, The Lowells ( Bob and Amy), Macleish, Ginsberg and I especially liked Wallace Stevens - our Hartford Insurance Man!

Get this - obituary:

Poet and insurance lawyer. New York Tribune, New York City, reporter, 1900-01; law clerk for W. G. Peckham in New York City, 1903-04; admitted to the Bar in New York State, 1904; law partner with Lyman Ward, c. 1904; worked in various law firms in New York City, 1904-08; American Bonding Co. (became Fidelity and Deposit Co.), New York City, lawyer, 1908-13; Equitable Surety Co. (became New England Equitable Insurance Co.), New York City, resident vice-president, 1914-16; Hartford Accident and Indemnity Co., Hartford, CT, 1916-55, became vice-president, 1934. Lecturer.


The grey man had an ear. Stevens was also a most traditionally innovative craftsman of internal rhyme. Though most celebrated for his lyrical feast The Idea of Order at Key West, or the clever Peter Quince at the Clavier and The Emperor of Ice Cream, Wallace Stevens had a deep theology that was the foundation of his poetic sensibility. Wallace Stevens, to eye and mind of most folks, was the very model of Sinclair Lewis 'Square' - A Genuine Babbit - member of the Lodge, Country Club Republican Insurance salesman. In his personal and professional and civic life Wallace Stevens was all those things and more -

In The High Toned Christian Woman we get a glimpse of the Thomas Aquinas Catholic theologian talking like a carnival barker - Wallace Stevens quietly and secretly was baptized into the Catholic Faith.


Poetry is the supreme fiction, madame.
Take the moral law and make a nave of it
And from the nave build haunted heaven.Thus,
The conscience is converted into palms,
Like windy citherns hankering for hymns.


Yes, indeedy! Puns and Fun! Nave for Knave. Kidding on the square!


I always liked this one:


The Sense Of The Sleight-Of-Hand Man

One's grand flights, one's Sunday baths,
One's tootings at the weddings of the soul
Occur as they occur. So bluish clouds
Occurred above the empty house and the leaves
Of the rhododendrons rattled their gold,
As if someone lived there. Such floods of white
Came bursting from the clouds. So the wind
Threw its contorted strength around the sky.

Could you have said the bluejay suddenly
Would swoop to earth? It is a wheel, the rays
Around the sun. The wheel survives the myths.
The fire eye in the clouds survives the gods.
To think of a dove with an eye of grenadine
And pines that are cornets, so it occurs,
And a little island full of geese and stars:
It may be the ignorant man, alone,
Has any chance to mate his life with life
That is the sensual, pearly spuse, the life
That is fluent in even the wintriest bronze.


The man is a master of imagery -fluent in even the wintriest bronze. Yet, the Wallace Stevens Foundation website ignores Stevens' embrace of the Catholic Faith. The Catholic Faith stands anathema to Progressive intellectual sensibilities. It stands opposed to the Dewey/Hegelian three-card-monte theory that begs any and all questions to suit its purpose, Phi Betta Kappa was not allowed in Catholics universities until individual colleges bowed at its altar - cloaked as academic freedom - go along to get along.

The poet Wallace Stevens found solace and certitude in Catholicism. That moral and ethical foundation found expression in his bold imagery and rolling rhyme. Here is a letter from Wallace Stevens' confessor Father Hanley concerning the poets conversion.
Dear Janet:

I-The First time he came to the hospital, he expressed
a certain emptiness in his life.
His stay then was two weeks.

Two weeks later, he was in, and he asked the sister to send for me.
We sat and talked a long time.
During his visit this time, I saw him 9 or 10 times.
He was fascinated by the life of Pope Pius X,.
He spoke about a poem for this pope whose family name
was Sartori--- ( Meaning tailor)
At least 3 times, he talked about getting into the fold--
meaning the Catholic Church.
The doctrine of hell was an objection which we later
got thru that alright.

He often remarked about the peace and tranquility that
he experienced in going into a Catholic Church and
spending some time. He spoke about St. Patrick's Cathedral
in N.Y..
I can't give you the date of his baptism.
I think it might be recorded at the hospital.
He said he had never been baptized.
He was baptized absolutely.

Wallace and his wife had not been on speaking terms for
several years.
So we thought it better not to tell her.
She might cause a scene in the hospital.

Archbishop at the time told me not to make his (Wallace's)
conversion public, but the sister and the nurses on the
floor were all aware of it and were praying for him.

At the time--I did get a copy of his poems and also
a record that he did of some of his poems.
We talked about some of the poems.
I quoted some of the lines of one of them and he was
pleased.
He said if he got well, we would talk a lot more and
if not--he would see me in heaven.

That's about all I can give you now.

[Signed] God's Blessing
Father Hanley


That is plenty Padre. Today, at Sacred Heart Church in Morgan Park of Chicago, the devout and tough piety that graces the people in pews will stand long as the crucible of Christ's love for Man will be dramaticall read by Father Gallagher and the two lectors. The palms and hosannas that we hypocrites lay at the Savior on the Donkey remind us that they will be burnt offerings after this year's cycle. We will burn the palms of last year and begin again to understand what Wallace Stevens understood - the palms are prelude to the Passion.

Saturday, April 16, 2011

Mexico is Our Continental Indiana - $ 2.89 Gas at the Pump - How Much Are Smokes?


Mexico is now offering gas at $ 2.80 a gallon.

Such a deal! How would you like to be able to fill up at $2.80 a gallon? . . .Why is gasoline so much cheaper across the Rio Grande? Two main reasons. First of all, Petroleos Mexicanos, the state-owned oil company, controls prices with the assistance of the Mexican government, which is not keen to see the price of gasoline go up too high for fear of public unrest. Also, Mexican environmental laws are not as strict as laws in the U.S., and gasoline sold in Mexico is not required to have many of the special blends designed to hold down air pollution, which jack up U.S. prices.

Foster says he will organize his day so he can buy gasoline in Mexico.

“The other day, I was going to Zaragoza to show a ranch, and I needed gas, and I have no issue buying Mexican gas,” he said.

Traveling into Mexico to buy gasoline is not considered smuggling and is not against the law. The gasoline in the tank does not have be ‘reported’ to U.S. Customs officers at the border, and customs duties do not have to be paid on it.

“A lot of our community goes to Piedras Negras to buy drugs, and for doctor visits, and will incorporate a visit to the gas pump,” Foster says.



I just topped off my tank at Rollie Kean Gas on 111th and Talman at $ 4.19 a galoon.

For years, south side folks would take a run over to Hammond, Indiana and tank-up and grab a carton or two of smokes.

Really earnest pop-eyed geniuses like Chris Matthews, Rep. Jan Shakowsky, and the balance of the news media harp that Americans have great capacity for more taxes - damn those rich plutocrats.

Though it be a bargain, I don't think I'll be taking a run to the boarder to top off the 15 gallon capacity on the Malibu. Not unless, the smokes down Mexico way are a real value. It will probably be 2012 before the pump prices drop . . .no, 2013 around the end of January.

The Magic of Dianne Reeves at Chicago Symphony Center




Grammy Award winner Dianne Reeves* has a vocal range with global reach. Backed by a quartet of musicians(bassist Reginald Veal and drummer Terreon Gully, pianist Peter Martin and guitarist Romero Lubambo) who complement this dignified and funny woman's soulful renderings of jazz standards and pop surprises, the upper balcony of Orchestra Hall - my Comiskey to its Cellular tag: apologies -Symphony Center - was on its feet. She is not Sarah Vaughan - She is Dianne Reeves.

The blond Brazilian guitarist Romero Lubambo was a show in himself - he is seen playing above with Ms. Reeves.

* Reeves was born in Detroit, Michigan to a very musical family. Her father, who died when she was two years old, was also a singer. Her mother, Vada Swanson, played trumpet. A cousin, George Duke, is a well known piano and keyboard player and producer. Dianne and her sister Sharon were raised by their mother in Denver, Colorado. As a child Dianne took piano lessons and sang at every opportunity. When she was 11 years old her interest in music was enhanced by an inspiring teacher who thought that music was the best way to bring students together. Dianne discovered a love of music and that she wanted to be a singer.
Her uncle, Charles Burrell, a bass player with the Denver Symphony Orchestra, introduced her to the music of jazz singers, from Ella Fitzgerald to Billie Holiday. She was especially impressed by Sarah Vaughan.

Friday, April 15, 2011

Obama's Billion Bucko 'Just Folks' Tour Opens in Chicago!

Regular Guys Barry and Rahma-Lama- Dang- Dong bust a move with a Turkish çiftetelli last night with other 'ordinary folks' popping down a Hundo and Change at Navy Pier!


"Ordinary folks can do extraordinary things. That's what this campaign is ab
out," Obama said at the event, which also featured Bulls all-star point guard and South Side native Derrick Rose, forward Joakim Noah and a former star from the team's championship years, B.J. Armstrong. The president later donned a Bulls cap.

President Barack Obama is coming back to his hometown today to raise funds for his re-election campaign. He will land at O'Hare International Airport late this afternoon, then attend two private fundraisers--at the N9NE and MK Chicago restaurants--before heading to the main event at Navy Pier at 7 p.m. Tickets range from $100 to the legal maximum of $35,800. Part of the money will go to the president's 2012 re-election campaign and part to the Democratic National Committee.



One day after giving just a corker of a stem-winder ( Hey wake Old Joe!), Plain Ol' Barack hit the runway at O'Hare and just choppered his way over the city of Rahm Emanuel. Two regular guys got toegther with the hoi poloi of this burg, snatched plates of hash, gagged down some brews, swapped lies and jigged up a storm at Navy Pier.

Yep, folks as common as Pritskers bumped bellies and sniffed armpits with Jane Doe, Joe Blow, Joe Doakes, Joe Sixpack, John Q. Public, John Smith, Mr Brown, Mr. Nobody, Richard Roe, average Joe , Average Person, Common Man, Man in the Street, and good old Ordinary Joe at the ballroom with the First Guy. Joe Biden was absent but there in spirit for all the backchat, banter, chaff, chaffing, exchange, fooling, fooling around, give-and-take, good-natured banter, harmless teasing, jape, jest, jive, joke, josh, joshing, kidding, kidding around, persiflage, pleasantry, raillery, rallying, repartee, ridicule, sport, twits ordinary folks vent in an altogether extraordinary manner.

Boy, there is no Bull$hit getting tossed by these homespun tatterdemalions.

Leo Boxing Night Will Support Leo High School Officer Eric D.Lee Memorial Scholarship

Boxing legend Emanuel Steward gives life lessons to Leo Men in October 2010.


Today at noon, Baltimore Ravens Safety and Heavyweight Boxing Pro Tommy Z - Tom Zbikowski will hold a workout in the Leo High School Boxing Gym. Leo Boxing coach Mike Joyce has guided Tommy since the Pro NFL Star and Boxer was nine (9) years old. This workout will be filmed by the NFL Network for an upcoming broadcast. Attending this event will be Leo Boxers, local press, and most importantly Mark Lee and his mother, Mrs. Anna Lee.


Mark Lee is a Leo Alumnus. In 2001, Mark's brother Officer Eric D. Lee was killed in the line of duty. Mark established a Memorial Scholarship in the name of Eric D. Lee to benefit families in need of help meeting the costs of tuition.

Tommy Zbikowski has boxed with the Leo Boxing Club, while a high student and athlete, through his great career as an All-American at Notre Dame and trained for his first professional fight at Madison Square Garden in New York in 2006, right here in the gym on the second floor of Leo High School. Tommy Z has supported both the Leo Boxing and Leo football programs.

The school is literally alive with ongoing academic, mentoring, college placement and career counselling programs. This Catholic high school for boys has been serving young men like Officer Eric D. Lee, CPD, who was a member of the Leo Track Team and Class Valedictorian. Eric Lee gave his life defending his community.

Mark Lee and the Lee family are pumping more energy into this 86 year old young school. The Lee Family lives by the Leo Motto of Facta Non Verba - Deeds Not Words.

Get active and come and support the Eric D. Lee Memorial Scholarship for Leo High School and take in some great boxing on May 10th at 115 Bourbon Street - Chicago's Charity Venue!

Leo Boxing Night at Bourbon Street in Merrionette Park on May 10th which will benefit a Scholarship in the Memory of Fallen Chicago Police Hero - Officer Eric Lee (Killed in the Line of Duty).

Leo Boxing Night 115 Bourbon Street 3359 West 115th Street Merrionette Park, IL 60803 (708) 398-8881

Donations $ 20 at the door Contact Leo Boxing Coach Mike Joyce ( 708) 227- 8425 for more information or to pre-order reserved seats.


Name: Lee, Eric D.
Star: 16947
Rank: Police Officer
District / Unit: 007 District (Englewood)
End of Watch: 19-Aug-2001
Incident Details: Officer Eric D. Lee was shot and killed as he and two other tactical officers attempted to aid a citizen.

Officer Lee and his partners were on a special patrol in the Englewood neighborhood when they spotted a man being beaten in an alley. They rushed to assist the victim and announced they were police. One of the fleeing assailants unexpectedly fired, striking Officer Lee in the head.

Several suspects were apprehended and held for questioning. The shooter was charged with the murder of a police officer. On January 23, 2004, Officer Lee's killer was found guilty of first-degree murder. On September 17, 2004, he was sentenced to life in prison. On November 22, 2005, following many continuances, the Cook County Criminal Court judge balanced the scales of justice and denied Officer Lee's killer both motions for a new trial.

Officer Lee was a 9-year veteran officer, a former Marine with a magna cum laude university degree, whose personnel file spoke to his nine years of good judgment on the job. He had volunteered to be a tactical officer, an especially dangerous line of police work. He had passed up his once-every-month options to “bid out” of Englewood for easier duty in a less stressful district. Friends said he liked the people of Englewood, enjoyed the uphill struggle to make their lives safer. Eric Lee became the 4th tactical officer to be shot to death in Chicago in 2 years.

His wife, 6-year-old daughter, parents, two brothers, and a sister survive Eric Lee.


http://www.cpdmemorial.org/fallen_hero/po-eric-lee-16947

Thursday, April 14, 2011

As Game as Christy Ring - Pure Athleticism


Last night, at dinner before the Leo Alumni meeting, I ran into an old friend Joanie Brennan. Joanie is now Mrs. Kevin Sullivan. Joanie and her many sisters were the best athletes in Little Flower Parish ( the parishses along 79th Street were thick with Cork, Kerry and Clare natives). We hated to see their approach as these pretty girls could fire a football spiral, or chuck a Clincher more accurately and with more power than any male within the vast parish limits. Their father is great Kerry footballer named Danny Brennan. County Kerry won the most All Ireland football ( caid in Irish) - 55 Titles in all.

Danny Brennan was a neighborhood legend having come to America preceded by stories of his athelticism on the football pitches of Ireland in the editions of the Kerryman Newspaper delivered to Kerrymen or picked up by the Salt-water Irish at the tobacco store on southwest corner of 79th & Ashland. My grandfather was a huge fan of Danny Brennan - who now resides in Smith Village in Morgan Park. Danny Brennan was football equivalent of the great hurler* Christy Ring.

My grandfather and his pals had an expression that stuck with most of us. If someone were considered to be a great athlete or even a skilled person at some small level that person was " As Game as Christy Ring, so!"

E.g. So, in Kerryman is an intensifier - You ( twenty -thirty grandchildren shouting at once) are a shower of bastards, so!" or " The collective lot of you are the nails in Chrit's hands and feet, so!" - indicated a heightened level displeasure in Grandpa Hickey.

As game as Christy Ring* refers to the great Cork Hurler Christy Ring. So great were this man's feats and feets that a song was inspired to be sung to the air of The Bold Tady Quill Here is the great Christy Ring





*

Christy Ring was born less than a mile from the small village of Cloyne in County Cork,in 1920.
As a fourteen-year old he played in goal for Cloyne's junior team, however, due to the absence of a minor team in Cloyne he joined a team in nearby Midleton. As a player with the St. Enda's club Ring was spotted by the Cork minor selectors and quickly made the inter-county team. Subsequently, Ring won his first All-Ireland medal in 1938. After moving to Cork city he joined the local Glen Rovers hurling club in 1941, winning a County Cork Championship medal in that year.
Ring's record at all levels of the game speaks for itself. During his career he won 8 All-Ireland Senior Hurling Championship medals (1941, 1942, 1943, 1944, 1946, 1952, 1953, 1954) and 4 National Hurling League medals (1940, 1941, 1948 and 1953) with Cork. He won 18 Railway Cup medals with Munster, appearing in 22 finals between 1942 and 1963. At club level Ring won 14 county championship medals with Glen Rovers.The incomparable Christy Ring 1938-1961


Christy has won
minor all-Ireland 1938
Junior county 1939
11 senior counties 41, 44, 45, 48, 49, 50, 53, 54, 58, 59 & 60
Senior county football 1954
Senior all Ireland 41, 42, 43 & 44
Munster senior championship 42, 43, 44, 46, 47, 52, 53, 54, & 56
Railway cup 42, 43, 44, 45, 46, 48, 49, 50, 51, 52, 53, 55, 57, 58, 59, 60, & 61
National league 39-40 40-41 47-48 52-53
Senior all-Ireland 46, 52, 53, & 54

Heaven bless our greatest hurler,
for his is the glory none can claim,
skippers came, but never greater,
in the annals of the game,
Golden records, cork had many,
But for these we cherished thee,
You won eight all-Ireland medals, for the city by the Lee.


*Hurling - Athletic Manslaughter

Wednesday, April 13, 2011

The Bottled Voyage of Morgan Keaty, CPA (ret.)


But at the corner I stopped to take my last look at the crew of the Narcissus. They were swaying irresolute and noisy on the broad flagstones before the Mint. They were bound for the Black Horse, where men, in fur caps with brutal faces and in shirt sleeves, dispense out of varnished barrels the illusions of strength, mirth, happiness; the illusion of splendour and poetry of life, to the paid-off crews of southern-going ships. From afar I saw them discoursing, with jovial eyes and clumsy gestures, while the sea of life thundered into their ears ceaseless and unheeded. And swaying about there on the white stones, surrounded by the hurry and clamour of men, they appeared to be creatures of another kind—lost, alone, forgetful, and doomed; they were like castaways, like reckless and joyous castaways, like mad castaways making merry in the storm and upon an insecure ledge of a treacherous rock.
Joseph Conrad


Morgan Keaty retired as an accountant in 1999, after thirty five years with the City of Chicago. Morgan spent his days puttering around the classic Chicago bungalow at 106th & Claremont in Beverly that he purchased in 1965 for $35,000. Morgan and the beautiful Grace Keaty (nee Walsh) raised four daughters in that warm and lovely home.
The nest had been empty for some time, save the monthly family feasts following a Sunday Mass at St.Barnabas. Morgan and Grace delighted in their grandchildren and lavished love on the little ones.

Morgan also built ships in a bottle. He had a collection of over forty frigates, corvettes, galleons,clippers, timarans, barquentines, dhows and dinghys of all sizes and shapes on the mantles, tables, sideboards and in cases, curios and even the buffet. Grace boxed away many of the nautical themed ewers, at first with bridal good humor and eventually the direct and commanding efficiency of a Xanthippe.

The dignified accountant's virtues became grayed and dusty with his active manipulation of sails, mizzens, booms, gunwales, and poop decks. " Why don't you give the shipyard a rest, Morgie, there's no more space! For the love of God walk up to Keegans and have a beer with the Murphy Brothers like a retired gent had ought."

With as much dignity as he could muster the septuagenarian shipwright, put down his tweezers and cleared the hobby desk of tools and turned out the magnified light. He put on a windbreaker, grabbed six twenties from the top dresser drawer, kissed Grace on both cheeks and wandered west of 60643 to 60655 and at 6:37 PM into Keegan's Pub at 10618 S. Western.

In the warmth and welcome of this neighborhood watering hole Morgan reacquainted with friends of his youth and young manhood. He quaffed cool pints of Smithwick's and learned of grandchildren, games and God Awful villainies.

At 1:45 AM, the young bartender Joe announced last call and Morgan accepted. It was time to go and Morgan's sails were full!

Young Joe walked Morgan Keaty to the corner traffic light on 107th at Western and pointed the saturated gentlemen eastward. " Make a left on Claremont, Mr. Keaty, safe home!"

With careful gait, the shipman numbers cruncher, father of four, Catholic Forester, KC 3rd Degree, and pensioner navigated the stormy sidewalks and gamely grabbed the the nearest arboreal capstan to keep him aboard his concrete deck and out of a pitching sea of grass. The decks awash with briny foam? Well, yes they were. In this passage from hobbyist to aleman, Morgan Keaty had swallowed the brewers bounty and clung to the parkway trees as his ship of state seemed destined for Davy Jones' Locker.

A pattern of Blue and White light signalled the arrival of rescue.

" Hey, Dad, you have a load on," said the handsome African American blue-coat who appeared before the the befogged eyes of Morgan like James Wait aboard the goodship Narcissus of Conrad's novel The Children of the Sea: A Tale of the Forecastle, now bowdlerized for political correctness.

Human concern is Conrad's theme and Officer Newell helped the aging hobbyist to unburden himself of the tree. Officer George Newell of the 22nd District ( Morgan Park) asked of the besotted sailor, " Hey, where he are you going at this time of night?"

Morgan Keaty cleared his cobwebs and replied,"“I am going to a lecture about alcohol
abuse and the effects it has on the human body”.

Officer Newell then asked,“Really? Who is giving that lecture at this time of night?”

Morgan replied, “My wife Grace and it will be a dandy.”

Rescued from the storms on the sidewalk Officer Newell piloted Morgan Keaty in the safe harbor of Hurricane Grace.

Morgan Keaty is in drydock.


Huge Hat tip to Mike McQuade of California!

Tuesday, April 12, 2011

Light - The Paradox in Verse and Inverse Verse: The Foundation for Light Verse



Poetry is hard work. I am lazy. It is not something that one tosses against the Frigidaire to see if it sticks, unless of course you are a fatuous and self-absorbed ninnie with a microphone in front of you at some Slam, or other.

The best poetry seems easily done. True ease in writing comes from Art not chance/ as those move easiest who have learn'd to dance.

Too many poets dance varese like the fits, wiggles and epilepsy of t'weenage south side Irish males at an 8th grade graduation basement party. . . too ugly to imagine, let alone describe. Like WWII Pacific combat . . .you had to be there.

I recently was gifted with a volume of poesy that honors the form made famous by Ogden Nash here in America. I am now a subscriber to Light

Light is a volume of the very best light verse by great American poets like these folks Dan Campion, Timothy Murphy, Philip Appleman, William J. Middleton,Melissa Balmain, Henry Harlan, Bruce Berger, Gail White, J. Patrick Lewis . . .and X. J. Kennedy.
Here's a sampling -

COCKTAILS FOR TWO?


John Ciardi
liked Bacardi
but drank Chianti
with his Auntie.
— E.M. SCHORB

WEDNESDAY MATINEE

The scent of old lady;
A gal 85.
Sherry and mothballs;
Chanel No. 5.

—Terrence M. Bennett

In Praise of Bachelorhood

Of kisses and captivity, of flings
and flight I know one thing:

It's only once the fly has settled
that the Venus flytrap springs.
— AMIT MAJMUDAR


These jewels are cut by masters - simple and satisfying.

They are tight, witty, rhythmic, rhyme-postive, balanced and exact. Get on the same page, Kids!

Foundation for Light Verse is a Non-profit corporation created

In February, 2008, the IRS granted Light Quarterly tax-exempt status. All donations to Light Quarterly are now exempt from Federal tax. Contributions are needed to continue publishing this magazine, and to ensure its growth.

Please send your checks, made out to The Foundation for Light Verse, to

Light
PO Box 7500
Chicago, IL 60680

Light Quarterly is also urgently in need of volunteers. As we grow, the work-load has grown beyond what our staff can handle. If you have any open time in your schedule, and you live in the Chicago or near west suburban area, consider donating your skills to getting this magazine out. You’ll be listed on the Masthead, and you’ll learn publishing and printing in an ideal environment, where it actually happens. Call or e-mail with your contact information. Ours are 1-708-488-1388, and info@foundationforlightverse.org.


BarMoochian Economics - "We Ain't Broke! Gimme a Jackson."

With his back to the wall -Dr. Short-arms Lanigan explains that there is plenty of wealth to be tapped. Not his, of course, ours.

World Class Economics Solons like Journolista Ezra Klein of the Washington Post crack me up. The current mantra coming from leaning lefty columnists, commentators and , of course, celebrities is the call for more taxes! Ball of Confusion!!! The Tempting Ts - the Temptations warned all of us tail-end Charlie Baby Boomers of this pattern of thought.

Air pollution, revolution, gun control,
Sound of soul
Shootin' rockets to the moon
Kids growin' up too soon
Politicians say more taxes will
Solve everything
And the band played on


Pay your fair-share! YOUR - possesive pronoun - meaning YOU possessing that share. YOU is ME too. You never hear our bloated bolshevik Michael Moore demand that the Federal Government dig into his gelt. Moore, like every Progressive that I have encountered in this Vale of Tears, is tighter than the pockets on a fat man's pants.

Imagine coming up with a Hollywood Tax? An 80 percent tax of every Celebrity Super Star, Rock Star, Rap Star, Writer, Movie Star, Producer, Agent, Lawyer and Mogul earning over $ Million a year would shut the mopes up.

Robert Reich, Michael Moore, and David Plouffe must have all studied at the feet of
"Short-arms" Lanigan - Dr. of Redistribution of Your Wealth Economist at the University of the Bar Stool Near You. Dr. Lanigan studied the Wimpy School of Economics from the old Popeye cartoons - 'I will gladly pay you tomorrow for a hamburger today' and took things to the next level.

The eminent Dr. Short-arms has his First Communion money, to paraphrase Mike Houlihan. His dictum - Let the Other pay - works in taverns and in many other situations that require immediate payment for product and services: lawncare, plumbing, and meeting tuition - 'I'm a little short at the moment. Tough economy ain't it?'

Short-arms has deep, deep pockets and very short arms. Why spend his money, when you have your's already on the bar. The trick is knowing that one must take advantage of the fact that most people are intrinsically generous, hospitable, and welcoming and that timing and positioning is everything.

If there are twelve people at the bar engaged in conversation and beefy goodfellowship, Short-arms immediately engages the most popular and conversive of the group and compliments him/her on the latest achievement by the individual or his spawn - "That is one beautiful Hostis row along the south end of your home, Burlington, Old Man!" or " Your kid made a great catch in the 9th up a Kennedy to win the game, too bad you were here sucking back Old Styles . . .I just came from the Park; helping Brian Tansey with the T-Ball kids."

Gee That's great. Moira, get everyone from the street to the shithouse! Have one, Short Arms!

Accept! Each man and woman will shoulder the tariff of drink. In theory. Follow Dr. Short-arms Lanigan's dicta -

1. Determine the direction that the liquid assets of largesse will take in, rolling credit, to one and all - save one.

2. Do not stay immediately next ( sinister et dextra) to the boon chum, but, immediately move to the end of the line - in the direction of the rolling largesse n'cest pas.

3. Once someone has called to pay, interject an offer to toss coin into the hazard and await the sanctions and protestations - 'First caller buys.' wait your turn.

4. Wait indeed. Once satisfied. Make a strategic exit - have a cell phone and pretend that it is on BUZZ. 'They're towing my car! Can you believe them bastards?' or, 'The Cat's on fire! Emergency Hemlick call at Olde Country Buffet on Ridgeland, I'm a volunteer EMT - you all knew that; didn't you? gotta bustle! Next Time!'

5. Come back in three days and repeat.

There is enough wealth! Short-arms and deep pockets will diminish that.

Hope and Change and more than a few rolls of folding money.